Hi everyone,

this is a throw away account just so I don't risk anybody involved seeing this. I also apologize this being kind of long, I tried to give some background to the relationship between the roommate and I because there was def things that built feelings up.

I'm a student in college (F22) and have four roommates. 2 Guys, we will call them Sam and Brendan, my boyfriend, and 1 girl that we will call Ashley. Sam and Brendan I have known since I was very young, like baby group young (moms are bffs) and we all get along great. I lived with Sam and Brendan for 2 years before moving into a bigger house with my boyfriend who I've been with for 3 years and Ashley who was a friend at the time when we asked her to get a house with us. Ashley and I were pretty close, and I felt at the time she would be a good addition to the house since I really wanted a female friend to hang with, and she claimed to be chill and clean.

Ashley and I stopped being close over the summer because she started flaking out on me on all the plans we made, and it just really annoyed me. I worked 8-5 everyday for an internship (one I hated lol), she didn't have a job so she just slept in everyday and played video games. So it was hurtful and mildly annoying when she'd claim "she lost track of time" as her excuse for flaking out on me when I'd come home from work ready to go have fun and she just slept all day. I didn't expect her to hang with me all the time as I do have other friends, but we barely hung out at all living together, and it is summer in a college town where everyone goes back to hometowns for the summer so theres not many options for social interaction. We did the horse thing together and we both had horses at our school barn and I used to haul them around to all the events we'd go to since she didn't have a trailer or truck. She used to just pay gas money (wich she used to complain about and would never help clean or do any maintance and she was hauling with me multiple times a week for a year straight), but living together we agreed that if she drove us to the barn during the week, I'd haul for events/ lessons and we'd call it even. For reference, offering to clean out the trailer after trips and offering to help with maintance is common and just the respectful thing to do if someone is hauling your horse around that much. I don't have a ton of money so I worked really had to have a truck and trailer let alone do the horse thing at all, so I do take pride in my rig and I guess I just understand what a privelege it is to have it, and when others used to take me places I always offered to do as much as I could because nothing I could do would cover the actually cost of owning and using a rig. Gas money and offering to clean the horse poo out is the minimum you can. Ashley on the other hand got mad and yelled at her parents for not buying her a new truck for Xmas...

Getting onto the actual story, this last week Ashley asked everyone if she could have a small kick back for a friends birthday at our house in the basement. Our basment is pretty cool, and was def a frat party basement at some point. My boyfriend added basically a movie room area down there, and built a bar. Everyone was cool with it and when Saturday came around, the "kickback" itself wasn't too bad, but they where all very drunk and there was alcohol spilled all over the basement and a bunch of mixing stuff was all over the kitchen counter. I was a little worried at the time because Ashley has a habit of leaving messes for days on end, which in our house doesn't work because my boyfriend and I cook every meal we eat, and the other two roommates cook frequently too so we've always had a rule that in the kitchen, you clean once you're done. Ashley has a hard time respecting that, but has gotten better over the school year.

But the kickback was quiet by midnight, and Ashley caught me before bed saying she'd have everything cleaned up before heading to bed. I thanked her and went to bed.

Sunday morning, I'm up by 8am to watch my online church on the tv in the living room and get my Sunday chores and studying done. I come downstairs and theres a random man sleeping on the couch. I was a little startled, slightly annoyed since I could no longer watch my church service on the couch like I normally do, but I got over it and assumed that this guy probably got too drunk last night and couldn't get home safely. I wish Ashley would've just shot everyone a message in the roommate group chat giving us a heads up, but its not a huge deal. I go into the kitchen and there where cut up limes, vodka, and cans all over the counter. Annoyed, I decided to just move everything into a pile onto the dinning room table so I could make breakfast. I started making my breakfast and I'm on the phone with my mom chatting and another man I've never seen in my life comes through the mudroom door from the basement. They're multiplying?? This dude looks at me, waves, doesn't smile (creepy), then goes and sits down on the living room chairs without a word to anybody. At this point I'm a little like ok this is weird. Ashley didn't say a word to anybody about anybody sleeping over. Let alone 2 men nobody knows. As I'm doing some chores and eating breakfast, my roomba goes off (robot vaccum that you can schedule to go off at certain time and day). The dude that was awake goes to turn it off, and I give him the best death glare I've got, and he slowly pulls his hand away without a word. The couch dude finally wakes up, and just starts walking around the house in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. At this point, neither one of these dudes have bothered to say a word to me, I have no idea who they are, and I'm starting to get extremely uncomfortable.

I decided to leave the house to run some errands and pray that by the time I get back they are gone so I can continue on with my day and get the other house chores done I normally do on Sunday's. I decide to give my roommate Brendan a call, who is like a brother to me, when I got to the grocery store. I asked him if he saw them when he left for church this morning, and I asked if there where still there. I explained that I left because I was just super uncomfortable and hoped that they'd leave soon.

Just for clairfication too, we all sat down at the beginning of the year and chatted house rules. One of those rules being if anybody wants someone to sleep over or stay for a few days, you check in and make sure everyone is ok with that. Nobody ever says no it's more of out of respect and giving a heads up so we don't think a homeless person broke in. That does happen where I live.

Anyways, I decided to shoot Ashely a text while I was gone. I said "I moved all the stuff yall left on the counter to the dinning room table. Also for the future please let everyone know if you're gonna be having people sleeping over, just weird to come down to random guy on the couch." Ashley responds about an hour later with "Yea sorry he was supposed to stay in the basement." I was a little taken back cuz like that wasn't the point at all so I sent another message saying "everyone in the house isn't comfortble with people sleeping over without being told wherever they are sleeping. We are totally ok with it as long as we are giving a heads up. I left the house this morning because I was extremely uncomfortable, and one of them was walking around in their underwear." I may have left the part out about this guy having a t-shirt on too but I was mad and wanted to drive the point home lol. She responds with "sorry about that. Probably won't be hosting again. Idk who that was". I was just mad and all I said was Thanks. Ashley does have a history of just not being very respectful in general, so I wasn't gonna push it since I won't see her ever again once I move out in June.

Anways, Brendan confirms they are still there and he tells me he's gonna check the basement. Turns out, 5 men slept over. Brendan who never gets mad or upset about anything, told me he thought it was "super weird" and wasn't comfortable with the situation either. At this point I'm just a little shocked and felt just creeped out honestly. The thought of 5 grown men sleeping in our home unknowingly felt just so odd. Brendan I chatted some more and we decided we'd ask them to leave once they where up if they where still there by noon.

Noon rolls around, all of them are still there. I was still out running errands but heading back so Brendan talked to one of the guys that was awake. He said "Hey sorry to do this but we were not informed anybody was staying over and this space is needed today, so if you don't mind waking up ur buddies and getting ready to head out, we'd really appreciate that." Apparently the guys didn't say much, but they didn't end up leaving. I get home with a bunch of groceries, and walk into the kitchen taken over and all 7 (the 5 dudes plus Ashley and her boyfriend) on the main floor. I didn't see Ashley right away, but I walked in and to a guy in the kitchen preparing food to cook (breakfast at 1pm) and I straight up said "Hey I'm sorry but you guys need to leave. Nobody was told any of you would be here and you've already been asked to leave." This guy was nice and apologetic and started cleaning up. Ashley was in the other room, and goes "Why do you have plans?" in a very sassy, attitudy voice. Boiled. My. Blood. I wish I could put a voice memo on here to say it how she did because she says it with the upmost entitlement. I was taken back and it took everything in me to not say "Yea bitch I live here". I didn't, I took a second to think about my words and I instead said "yes I do, cleaning, studying, meal prep, its my only day all week I have to do all these things" She looks at me, sorry no she glares at me. Then turns around while saying "mmmkkay". Me and the guy in the kitchen chatted and he was understanding. I just told him like hey not trying to be a bitch its just none of us where told this was happening, and I would've planned differently for today if I'd known like its the only day I had all week to meal prep. For reference, yes I have to on Sundays and have been the last 6 months. I work 8am-12 or 3 pm every day. Class 2-4 on the days I work till 12, and then have to go to my schools horse center to do my farm chores out there and usually don't get home till 6-7. By then I'm cooking dinner, doing homework, then falling on my face asleep. I have a full time class load so my weeks are packed. Oh and I'm trying to organize the move after graduating to a new city so I've been traveling a ton on Saturdays.

I felt bad, but an hour later they finally all left, I got my groceries put away and got to clean and study. Ashley didn't say a word. My boyfriend was gone for the day, but he knew about it after I told him and he was getting ready to come home early and kick them out himself had they not left. Honestly, it wasn't even about the friends, it was just more of the blantant disrespect of not bothering to tell a soul in the house, and expected all of us to jusy be ok with basically all the shared spaces being taken over all day. And just to clarify, had we'd been informed everyone would've been cool with it. We are not the type of house to never allow parties or groups to be over. We just want to be informed so we an plan around it.

Moving to today, this morning before work Ashley decided to shower in our shared bathroom and I tried to knock and just ask if I could grab a few things before she jumped in because I had to leave for work in literally two minutes. She yelled at me "I NEED TO SHOWER BEFORE WORK I CANT HEAR YOU" and proceeded to ignore me and slam the door once she was out of the shower. I mention this whole thing cuz I know she's mad about what happened with her friends Sunday and I feel like she's taking it out on me. She's ignored everyone in the household but has particularly been bitchy to me. I've debated shooting her a message like "hey I wasn't trying to kick u out this morning, I just wanted to grab a few things and get out of ur hair so I could get to work on time." and maybe mention something about Sunday? Im just not sure. She hasn't said a word to any of the roommates, although I know she probably just blames me entirely even though all of us where not ok with it and she's aware of that. I don't really wanna be friends with her, I just am bothered by the rudeness and would like to be cordial. Ashley is not the type to take responsibility or ever apologize, so I knew none of this would go over well and I don't expect her to apologize to anybody for the Sunday situation.

But AITAH for kicking her friends out Sunday morning? Should I say something to her?