I don't know if this is the right sub to post this, so I'll apologize in advance if it's not.

I am a 28 years old female who grew up in a big family. I have a couple of mentally disabled relatives whom I have spent a lot of time growing up with. It was not just meeting them just for holidays or special occasions, but more like seeing them almost everyday for the first 16 years of my life and spending a lot of time with them.

As an adult I find myself lacking empathy for mentally disabled people...I don't hate them or anything but the only people I have empathy for is their caregivers. I feel sorry for them because they have to struggle with permanently taking care of the disabled family member while never asking for this to happen. I pity them because they have a very sad and lonely life. They will never have privacy, they will never be only the spouses growing old in peace, they will never be able to travel and have great experiences because they will always be tied up to someone even if they never signed up for this.

I don't feel good about myself for thinking and feeling like this but it's not like I can lie to myself and say I don't. Recently I confided into one of my friends who is a therapist and explained to him everything I am feeling. My friend claims it is a natural reaction given that I grew up closely to my mentally disabled relatives. He told me that due to the fact that I was exposed to the daily struggles of the people I love being a caregiver, I developed empathy and protectiveness for the caregiver while considering the person who needs to be cared for as the reason for the caregiver's ruined life (which is true). I have also spend a lot of money in the past on genetic tests to make sure that there is nothing wrong with me. I was ready to never have kids if there was even a little chance of me passing something to them but the doctor was able to determine that most likely my relatives conditions were not related to anything genetic but more to some incidents that happened before birth. My friend claims this is also normal reaction and understandable due to again being exposed to the struggles from a young age.

Now, talking to my friend helped me but I can't shake the feeling that maybe he is a little biased towards me. At some level I understand what he is saying and it makes sense but at the same time I can't stop feeling like a very despicable person for feeling the way I do. One of my uncles that I love very much and who basically raised me is the caregiver for his son. My uncle is old, sick and instead of spending his retirement like any other person, he has to struggle caring for his disabled son. He needs to do everything for him. Feed him, bathe him, spend weeks in a row in hospitals with him. It really breaks me seeing his health deteriorating like this and unfortunately I blame the son...I can't shake the thought that my uncle would be so much better if he didn't have to care for him.

I guess what I am asking is, does this make me the horrible person I think I am or is my friend right and it's indeed a natural, involuntary reaction?