I had been with this partner (my now ex) for about 7 years. We do still live together because the economy is rough and I haven't been able to move out just yet. We've been living alongside each other for about 7months after. For the most part, we are just roommates now and there is hope of a friendship after all of it.

The issue I run into is he seems to be having a really, really hard time letting go. I was his first real, physical relationship. The only relationship he's had other than me was online and was for a short while, and that person was pretty awful to him. When I initially broke up with him, it was after a year and a half of knowing that I wasn't in love with him anymore. I poured effort into the relationship to work on things, because it felt wrong to give up on a relationship I'd been in for 5 years. I wasn't in love anymore, and I knew I didn't want to be with this person anymore. He was, obviously, very upset by this and that is reasonably so. Of course he would be. He was still in love with me, even though I wasn't with him. I was and am understanding of that.

He latched on the first day. He told me he knew I loved him, that we could work it out. He asked me to get mental help and try to go on medication (i have adhd and depression) to see if mood stabilizers would fix it. I explained to him that I took a very long time coming to terms with how I felt and that I didn't think medication would help it. He messaged me every chance he got that he loved me, that he couldn't imagine life without me... It felt like grasping at straws, and most definitely was love bombing which I recognized right away. Some days later he flipped the script after talking to some friends and instead said that he wouldn't want another relationship with me, even if I did. (I didn't)

It's now been 7 months. Ex has seemed ok. We've had a few talks about where we came from, where we were going. I've expressed the want to move out sooner rather than later, and there's been pushback on that. He doesn't see the "need". Just like he didn't see the "need" for me to move into the other room and sleep there, he didn't see the "need" in me separating my pc space from his, and he hasn't seen the "need" in any of the distance I've forced between us after the breakup. Meanwhile, I feel more and more pressure to move out because I feel like he won't be able to properly let go and cope with how he is if I do not. I also don't feel like I'm actually free yet living here.

He has formed the habit of coming to see me when he wakes up, of coming to see me when he gets home, of wanting hugs or affirmations. A couple of days ago I had reached my limit of it and he could tell I was frustrated when he came into my room (at midnight) and I was being stiff with him. He asked for a hug and I did give him a stiff hug but ultimately told him that it wasn't my responsibility anymore. I don't mind giving him a hug now and then as friends (i'd give anyone a hug who was having a hard time) But it was as if I'd broken up with him again, he was shattered. I reminded him that we had ended our relationship 7 months ago and that I felt as if he had the expectation that I would still be the person to provide him with affirmation, love, attention, etc... when that isn't who I am to him anymore, it hasn't been since the relationship ended. It's unfair of him to expect that of me whether we live together or not. Furthermore, I don't always want to be touched, let alone by an ex, especially when I have a different LDR now.

I even apologized later for how I came off because I definitely was a bit bitchy when I first said it. I doubled down that it wasn't on my plate anymore. He admitted I was right and then later in the conversation said things along the lines of "its time for me to figure out my own emotions and figure out what makes me happy" as well as "its been over for 2 years anyway right? i'm clearly the problem". When, in truth, no one is the problem?? Or at least, I don't see either of us as being a problem. We just ultimately weren't compatible in the end.

Honestly at the end of the day I'm trying to navigate this as well as possible. I just need to know, AITAH for ensuring there are boundaries while I work to save to move?