i’m feeling very conflicted right now, that first sentence should be telling as it is. my close friend and i planned a trip to the netherlands months in advance. we arrived and had a great time, but instead of staying the full 7 days, i left on the 3rd day.

my friend was unaware i was leaving until i told him 3 hours before my flight. he wasn’t too happy. if you’re wondering why i made this decision, it was complicated and not an easy one. besides the financial consequences, mentally i was not in the right headspace and i was experiencing an episode. i didn’t want to tell my friend beforehand as to not ruin his night out.

when i did see him back at the hotel, he wasn’t too happy, and was very cold towards me, understandably. i tried speaking with him regarding how fucked up it was for me to just leave like that, selfish, and inconsiderate, and by no means is it justified. i emphasized to him that im aware im a shitty human being for something like this.

if the roles had been reversed, i would’ve felt the same way he felt.

i am a shitty human being. it actually hurts me that this trip got cut short due to my own mental illness and dark thoughts. doesn’t negate from the fact that i am a shitty human being.

AITAH? i feel like i know the answer. i just need some confirmation from strangers on reddit.