Last Wednesday, I (23NB) drove a group of my friends to San Francisco for a clown drag burlesque variety show. I initially had invited my bestfriend, S (23F) , to come with me. She doesn’t have a car so I offered to drive us there. When she hear of what the event was, she immediately goes “We should invite my brother, M (27m) it seems like he would love that” Me, M, and S have hung out in a group before and he was pretty chill so I texted him about it as well. Then S goes, “Can I invite my boyfriend, N (21M)” I was initially kind of hesitant because having a big group wasn’t my initial plan but I felt bad saying no.

The day of the trip comes and N last minute asks to bring another one of our mutual friends. At this point the plan changed so much from my initial idea so I just said fuck it they can come too.

I am not the best driver I can admit. I drive slow and am not the best Parker. I also have ADHD so I frequently miss turns and exits. I also get pretty anxious when driving in SF bc I’m not used to the big hills of the city. S is also a terrible backseat driver. She is not comfortable with being a passenger and kept trying to tell me how to drive the entire trip. It genuinely felt like I was taking my drivers ed again.

While driving she would dramatically tense up when ever I was coming to a stop and kept on telling me to speed up. Idk if any other drivers can relate to this, but she also was checking ever single turn to the point where I couldn’t even see the road past her head and needed to tell her to sit back. I got continuously annoyed with her comments and snapped saying “Do you wanna drive?”

I guess this just fueled the fire bc she started saying how much better of a driver she was than me and how we would’ve been there way quicker if she drove. Now it was at least a three hour drive of this. Once we got the the actual city everyone else in the car started joking with me about how bad I was driving.

They would loudly scream at the tiniest of moves and when I asked her bf to stop he just screamed once more in my ear and then sat back. The jokes weren’t ever rly funny imo but after a while I started to get annoyed at their sly comments even if it was light hearted.

I said “Can u guys actually stop, I get anxious on the hills and ur making it worse”

Even after I said this I guess they still thought I was joking bc they kept making jokes. Like if I was coming up to a stop sign her brother would be like “ look at u doing the California roll” or our other friend would say “oh look a hill don’t get scared”

So finally I stopped the car and said “if u guys don’t like it u can find another way there” At this point we were probably a 15 min drive away. They all said sorry and I continued. Then not less than a minute later one of them made a joke after I swerved to avoid a pot hole.

So I stopped my car, and took the keys out until they got out. The three boys left after they saw I wasn’t joking but my bsf didn’t get out and we started to argue. After a while I got over it and told her to get the fuck out of my car. She called me a bitch and I yelled that i hope she has fun walking the streets like a whore. Her bf flipped me off when I drove off.

I ended up pulling over and crying for a bit before going to the show. I had on clown makeup that I stupidly didn’t bring so I had streaks running down. They still went and it was rly uncomfortable having to sit by them for the two hours. I couldn’t even rly get into it.

After the show we drove back together but it was almost complete silence the entire time. Then they texted in the gc all ganging up on me saying that I put them at danger and that it was uncalled for. Context also S has a chronic illness that makes walking a bit difficult. She said she was in extreme pain the whole show bc of me.

Am I the asshole? I feel bad that I made them walk probably 30 and with hills it definitely wasn’t an easy walk. We haven’t rly talked since Thursday and usually we text daily so I’m not sure what to do from here