Sorry this is kinda a long one.. Backstory, me 33F and my ex husband 41M - we'll call him Pat- fell head over heels from the beginning. We got engaged after 3 months of dating and I moved across the country after graduation to be with him. The plan was we'd live in the southern state for three years and move back to the northern state I moved from. I had always been VERY clear about wanting kids, he said he wanted them too. It seemed like we were on the same page.

I had a birth control implant and they said it could take half the time it was in my body to clear all the bc out of hormones so I wasn't worried when we hadn't gotten pregnant that first or second year. He had been married before and they couldn't get pregnant so I knew we might face a few challenges or delays. I was okay with that , there are countless ways to become a parent. Adoption, surrogacy, IVF or my favorite... Actually going to the doctor and getting your dick checked out.

As the years went on surprise surprise he did nothing to work towards having kids. Eventually 2020 rolled around and personally going from a northern blue state to living in a southern red state was terrifying and our three years were nearly up , it was time to go home. He refused to go ( now during those two years every time I mentioned going home he'd shut down and not say anything so needless to say I wasn't expecting him to move with me.

Now call me crazy but I've always gone into every situation with a backup plan. I had two friends back home that had always offered to donate so after we broke up I moved back to my home state and tried with my donors. No luck. Then my ex moved up north and we tried again. Surprise surprise, it didn't last. After our first argument he hopped on a plane and moved back home leaving his car , all his shit and his dog for me to drive down to him ( for reference it's a good 29 hours of driving)

What was the argument about you'd ask .... Having kids. I had turned 30 that year, him 38. A term of us getting back together was for him to stop/ cut down drinking long enough for his drunk swimmers to find their way to my eggs. He refused. When I brought up surrogacy, adoption , everything short of kidnapping he'd get pissed off complaining that " he doesn't want people fucking his wife”. -_-

We tried getting back together one more time and I moved back to the southern state we lived in thinking we'd be moving back to the small town where we were building our lives - WRONG. We stayed with his mom for a few weeks and got our house 7 mins from hers in the city ( I hate the city give me cows and grass any day 🥰)

My MIL always seemed really nice and we've always gotten along till that's last breakup. She's one of those weird mom's that treats their sons like a surrogate husband. So when we finally got serious about getting checked out the doctors told my ex that he had a decent sperm count but those fuckers were drunk and didn’t know where to go.

When I spoke to my MIL about it her response was “ maybe you guys should work on your marriage before you have kids” ma’am I’ve spent a good 6 years with your son I will NOT be waiting any longer. To which, her response was “ you can’t change him” I’m sorry, you want your son to be an alcoholic and not have any grandkids? ( he has one sibling and she made it clear they aren’t having kids. So their family line dies with them)

This turned in to a HUGE argument with my then husband. He sided with his mom and I decided I’d had enough. I packed up my shit and moved to our dream town. Realizing our goals weren't aligned, I left my husband and moved into my house two years ago this April on my 31st birthday. With an air mattress, half a cake and a bottle of Wild Turkey I thought dream of being a mom was slipping away.

IVF wasn't an option for me financially and adopting as a single woman would take a very long time. I had just wasted 6 years of marriage trying to being a mum I didn't want to wait or have to prove that I deserved kids.

So I did what any other "millennial" ( yuck I hate that term) would do and I hopped on Tinder looking for a donor and I surprisingly got a LOT of offers lol. I picked my donor, had him sign a donor contract and we got pregnant on the first try with each of my pregnancies!

I turned 33 this year. My daughter, is about to turn one and I'm pregnant with my second due in October! I had two celebrities do our gender reveal making them extra special!

Now I have two babies all my own with my last name that I don’t have to share with anyone !! No crazy MIL , no baby daddy drama , no shared weekends :D Oh! And we’re moving back to our northern state where my entire family is next month! It may have taking 8 years but I finally have the family I’ve always wanted and became a mom !

Life may give you lemons but juice those suckers till you're sipping on lemonade because you and your dreams are worth it babe… Asshole or not 💛🍋