I'm 19 getting closer to 20, I come from a pretty strict household. No friends, no sleepovers, no dating, speak when spoken too, keep your head down. Well I followed the rules, after my mom passed I worked especially hard to clean and cook for my family, care for my younger sibling and whatever stepsiblings were in my life. Never argued or talked back. But I had one secret. At 15 I met someone online and fell in love with him. Sounds crazy, but even though he lives on the other side of the country he became my best friend and so much more. At 18 my family was not doing so good. Fathers girlfriend had it out for me and when he went out of town for work I was sent to live with a family friend. (Had I the option to strike out on my own i would, but no car, no lisence, and no job were rules in my prior life.) Because I felt responsible for the safety of my brother and my dad's wellbeing I stayed close to home, started working and attending community college. But I also started visiting with my boyfriend, we are very serious after 4 years about starting a life together and school is cheaper where he lives, plus he can continue working without losing the career he's been building, or the more stable family he has. I agreed to come to him, it's long overdue for us to have more time together than short weeks every few monthes and evening conversations over the phone. But this means leaving my family who is still not doing great with their living situation or finances. In my heart I've already decided I'm going, but am I the asshole for doing it ?