About 9 months ago, I took over my friend's old apartment lease when he and his girlfriend moved out. We've been close for years, since highschool, lived together before etc. good friends.

About 2 months ago, I got a government check in the mail addressed only to my apartment, with some numbers where the name should be. I opened it, saw it was a "Carbon Rebate" for $375, and stuck it on my fridge while I googled and asked coworkers about it. People online said they were getting rebate checks too, so I assumed it was a general government payout to addresses.

Fast forward a couple weeks: my friend and I are heading to the bar, and he asks if any mail came for him. I brought the only stuff I've received for them which was just random junk mail.

At the bar, he mentions his girlfriend was waiting for a $375 rebate check. I immediately realize I had received a check for that amount. I told him when i get home i'll send a pic. I got home, I sent a picture — he confirmed it was hers. Turns out the "numbers" were her corporate business number.

I immediately said "oh shit, i didnt know" and said I didn’t realize — I thought it was a general check tied to the address. I told him I'd call my bank and the CRA first thing in the morning to sort it out.

The next day at work, before I could call, he texts me that his girlfriend had already reported it to the CRA. I was kinda pissed, I had said I'd call my bank and sort it out.

I called right away in a panic. My bank said that since it’s been reported, they can’t do anything except place a hold for the $375 on my account, and wait for the CRA to reverse it and reissue a new check, which they said could take anywhere from 2 months to a year.

I texted my friend like, "Bro, if you had just let me call first I could have sent you the money. Now you're going to have to wait for the reversal..."

cant believe she would report me like that but i know she is extremely anal about money... like mega-cheap... like lives in a nice condo but doesnt use the AC to save money, washes clothes by hand, literally never goes on vacation or do anything unless work is paying for it. But they both have good jobs. My friend even has to hide some of his purchases from her because she is kinda nuts about money.

So my attitude up until now was like "my bad, stupid mistake on my end. i'll call my bank and sort it out. no problem" but now i think "well, they made the decision to call and report it without even asking if i'd called the bank yet, so its out of my hands now"

So, for about 2 months he hasnt spoken to me. so i text him just asking what the situation between us is... is he not talking to me now? or whats up?

He goes on saying i need to apologize to his GF and pay her money back. I told him "sure, no problem. i can apologize to her but the money is on hold in my account. im sure the CRA explained how this would work to her"

He goes off saying how "i should do the right thing and give her money back. instead of trying to steal from her, and commit fraud" even going on to say very insulting shit like "we get it, if you dont have savings and cant pay us back. we are willing to take partial payments"

Absolutely shocked... literally cant believe what im reading from him. not only does he think so lowly of me that i'd be too poor (?!) to pay him back, but also that i've been intentionally withholding her money (aka stealing) for the last 2 months, and willing to ruin a friendship over "a small ass check" ?!

He goes on to say shit like "I guess we're not as rich as you then to think $375 is "small ass check". you should be able to pay it back then. im sure you have lots in your savings right?". Very weird personal comments, at this point i feel like im talking to her and not him, and she must really not like me at all lol.

I restated everything: "im sure the CRA explained everything to her when she reported it. and my bank said the same thing to me. because she called and reported it, and initiated the reversal, she now has to wait for a new check to be issued. the money is literally on hold in my account"

"so, its ok for you to hold her money, but not ok for her to hold yours?"

But she has a legal reversal in progress... i would be essentially paying them double with cash and then just hoping he gives my money back after they get the check...?

AITAH here?

should i just say "fuck it" and give him the cash too, potentially salvaging whatever's left of this friendship, but at this point he might not pay it back, i dont know anymore. Or "fuck her" she wanted to report me so now she has to wait for the reversal and probably losing this friend who has already insulted me with these weird comments and accusations....