My little brother recently started living with me in my 1 bedroom apartment and his gf coming over a lot is causing issues)..(He had some issues with his credit and past situations so he can’t get his own place right now).

okay so you can read some of the backstory and info that transpired below! But if too long you can just read this ! what I’m considering is the following! His gf

• [ ] Sunday -Wednesday she can come over but has to be gone no later than 5/6pm. I should be home by then and my brother will definitely be off work whether in office or in person! She gets out of school at 3pm so that’s enough time to see eachother and then she go home !
• [ ] My brother got a 2nd job in the evening working from 6-10/11. So the question becomes if she gets out at 3pm. It has to be gone by 5/6 and my brother has to be at work on those days then what happens ? I offered for him to take my car since I’ll be home in the evening and he doesn’t work far. She can borrow his car (which they have done in the past) and then go home. In the morning she has school at 7am and my house is like2 miles from the school. My brother works at like 9am so she can come to house and then they drop her off at school and then he takes his car to work. The good thing is he can take his lunch when he wants so by the time she is out of school he can pick her up and bring her back to my place or she wait until 5 to be picked up.
• [ ] Thursday-Saturday are the days she can actually spend the night. So beginning Thursday at 3pm when she is out of school she can stay and spend the night. I won’t be home Friday night and Saturday night due to work anyways so this allows them to have their own time as well.
• [ ] Sundays my one day off she doesn’t not come over. So when I’ come home at 7am Sunday once they wake up she will have to go home. No excises.
• [ ] I am finding that I don’t have time to recharge or clean my house or just have a space to myself. I haven’t lived solo in years and the last time I did was during Covid. I’ve always had roommates and felt like a burden for just existing! I’ve crashed on couches and more so I understand my brother wanting to not feel like a burden and exist but I feel like I’m accommodating him more than he is me. Again I signed up for him to stay with me not her.
• [ ] Also, we’re really not cool like that so it feels like being the 3rd wheel and almost fighting to just talk to my brother ? It’s strange ? I just want to chill and watch Netflix in my living room with my dog and not feel pressure to b do anything ! I want to relax and not ask some one to move there things or ask to use my own bathroom!
• [ ] Also want to point out that I should not have to be forced to stay confined in my bedroom (that has no tv, and not really even a light). I deserve to be able to use the amenities in my house (my office space, my computer, my living room space, patio)
• [ ] Her family is not the most supportive of her so my brother provides a lot for her financially and more) he doesn’t like to be without her and really doesn’t have friends or hobbies except playing games on computer.
• [ ] I think this will be ideal and will allow me to feel recharged and refreshed. Now that I work 2-3 jobs. We did talk about at the end of the lease all of us upgrading to a 2 bedroom place to save money and I think that would be great ! Simply because they would have their own bedroom to go to ya know ? But honestly I mean this with no shade but my brother only cares about his gf and priorities her and her wellbeing always. No one else. Which is okay. I’m not asking to be prioritized but I’m asking to be respected and for things to be mutual with accommodations since I’m doing it for him/them but not feeling much in return!
• [ ] She has started helping clean a bit and encouraging my brother to clean as well. But yeah. AM I THE A$$HOLE ? (Read below for more context )

I’m letting him crash with me for a couple of months or maybe a year. He’s cool with sleeping on the couch (I offered my blow up mattress and bed when I’m not home). I don’t usually have guests over and I stay to myself. I work in healthcare and work over night ! My schedule is as follows

M-F —> I work 8-5 Fri/Sat nights I work 70m-7am (overnights) at hospital. Sunday is my one day off.

My brother crashing with me is deff helping me save and stuff so it helps for sure ! The issue is his gf who has been with for years. When my brother lived with my mom, he would bring his gf over every day! My brother has a hybrid schedule so if he worked from home he would bring his gf over and she would be over all day but not spend the night. This caused issues amongst other things so he started picking her up and they would just stay parked in the driveway in the car.

They have been together 3+ years, they had a place prior but he couldn’t afford it and she didn’t work so they were evicted and then lived with my mom and she lived with her family. My brother and his gf are a package deal. He lived with my sister and her bf prior and then eventually things ended bad and he left. Then lived with my mom and that didn’t work out either.

To be clear/fair the gf was not the entire issue for why he left from living with my other family members it was just another factor for sure. He asked to crash with my brother and my brother said sure but basically his gf can’t come and he doesn’t like that they are so codependent. I get it. We’ve all been there and they are still mid 20s and I’m late twenties.

Okay so now he has been staying with me a few weeks and it is quite the adjustment. The school she attends is closer to our place so it’s more convenient for her to come over or spend the night. I have no issue with her spending the night but it’s becoming a lot.

She chills on the couch all day or sleeps on the couch and my brother plays on his computer most of the day when not working in my office area so my place feels crowded. My brother does not really clean so it can get messy from all their belongings and bringing this over in my small place.

My brother said he wouldn’t bring her over as much but it’s starting to feel like nearly every day. She does not have a car so it makes things harder. He claims it’s easier for her to come over for school but the past two times she spend the night she didn’t even go to school! I woke up for work and I’m like don’t you have school ? She is like oh she’s tired or in pain…

Basically I work a ton and now I’m feeling overwhelmed to the point where I never have my place to myself. Then my brother is finding technicalities like when I said hey she can spend. The night on a Wednesday he literally waited until til Tuesday at 11:59 to text me like hey she can come over right because it will technically be Wednesday! Like omg 😭

I’m really not trying to be terrible because I’ve been there and you just want to be together but I feel like I can never come home and just rot on my couch and exist. I also have to be more mindful because I can’t walk around naked or do certain things b/c I live with any brother who is a male so out of respect obviously I can’t do certain things. She however does not care what she is wearing she feels comfortable to do whatever because it’s her bf and my brother.

I’m still getting used to having someone in my space let alone 2! I said my brother could live with me not his gf! Even though my family doesn’t like her I do but we’re not close. I’ve tried but we don’t really talk or hang. I’ve invited her to stuff and my brother encouraged her but she doesn’t really want to! Which is okay! No bad blood! AITAH? what is compromise?