Hi guys, so, for context, I‘m in school (I won’t say what age) and am female. So far, our school year is almost over, and my partner has only been at school for nine days. That’s it. it’s April 26, and she has only been present for nine days. I still hold feelings for her, but Idk, I’ve also lost some? I talk to her on a google doc we have and on scratch aswell, but sometimes she’ll just vanish for days at a time and then come back later with an ‘Im sorry, I forgot’ or, ‘Sorry Solar I was sick and forgot to come on.’

As for her not coming to school, she always has an excuse. ‘I got sick’, or, ‘I missed my alarm and slept in’ or ‘My mom didn’t wake me up’ or ‘Sorry babe I just didn’t feel like it today’. Honestly, these excuses hurt me a lot. Like, a lot a lot. It feels like she doesn’t care sometimes.

And, when I have a gift for her, she’s never there to receive it. For example, I still have her Valentine’s Day gift, but I haven’t been able to give it to her because she hasn’t been at school. Her Christmas present was given to her weeks after Christmas, because again, she wasn’t there before winter break.

I can’t even meet up with her outside of school, because my parents hate her. They've only met her like, twice.

I, for some reason, feel guilty for losing some feelings for her. Like, I know she has a rough home life and I should be understanding, but at the same time waiting in the library for her each morning at school and not seeing her walk through the doorway, not hearing her voice, not seeing that face and hair that she thinks looks horrible but I think is the most beautiful in the world? That hurts.

Sometimes, when I think of people I love, Autumn doesn’t come to mind at the top. To be fair, my parents don’t either, but that’s a story for another day. She hurts me, and I sometimes hurt her without even realizing. I dont know guys, I can’t imagine my life without her but at the same time it’s easy to.

What do I do?

Edit: So, thank you guys for the advice, and for context, yes she does have depression. I have talked to the counselor at my school about i a couple weeks ago, and she had the officer that hangs around call Autumn’s mom. Her mom said that everything was fine and she would hopefully be back at school soon. Also, for extra context, its just her, her mom, and her two brothers.