I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (20M) for about four months now and we pretty much live together and since we've been going out he's always expressed to me how much vaping gives him 'the ick' and has firmly instated the rule 'if you vape I'm breaking up with you', not because of any past trauma linked to vaping, he just doesn't like it. For context, I used to vape (I've never been addicted but occasionally enjoyed it and got through about one a week).

I go to university and went home (to the other side of the country) and while I was there I got a craving for one, more as a sweet treat than a sudden burst of addiction. I bought one but have been vaping in secret since I got back.

Yesterday we were in bed and he found out and I panicked and swore blind it was my best friend's (she was round the day before and vapes) so he sent a picture of it to her from my phone and asked if it was hers. Luckily she guessed the situation and covered for me.

I feel really guilty since as I looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, held his hand and said 'I promise you, I would never do that to you', he believed me but said if it wasn't true then the lying would've been worse than the vaping.

I only did it because I didn't want to throw the relationship away over a vape because I love him so so much, and it seemed silly when it was only because it 'gave him the ick' but the guilt is horrendous. What should I do now? Confess, let the truth eventually come out or just move on entirely? It seems to be more about a bigger picture now than just a silly vape, it's basically me saying 'I've looked you dead in the eyes and lied to your face about something you care about'.

Side note: I've messed up quite badly in the past an he's lost trust for me over a different situation and is just rebuilding the trust, so if I were to tell him, I worry it wouldn't go down well at all and I'm terrified of losing him.

TL;DR AITAH for lying to my boyfriend because he doesn’t like vaping and has said we would break up if i I ever vaped (not past trauma related, just don’t like it, so seems more like power issue)