Six years ago, my girlfriend, we'll call her Angel, who I loved dearly, passed away suddenly at the age of 25 from a heart condition. I had known her family for some time and through the loss we bonded even more. I became especially close with her mom and her brother and his family. We're around the same age and were able to share our grief. I also felt an obligation to my Angel's nieces and nephews. Having lost their favorite aunt, I spent time with them and in the end I think I drew as much (or more) comfort and joy from being there for them as they did. I think I was able to move through my grief in a healthy way largely thanks to these connections.

Fast forward four years, I was still seeing the family a couple times a month. I had also started dating again. When I met my current girlfriend, we'll call her Sally, I still had a lot of Angel's belongings in my place. We had been living together at the time of her death and though I didn't have any emotional attachment to most of it, neither had I had time or incentive to get rid of it.

Sally and I got serious and the prospect of her moving in came up, and she expressed discomfort about Angel's belongings. I understood and worked at sorting and donating or distributing the stuff to her family members, save for a few mementos and artwork that I wanted to keep.

Fast forward to the present. Sally and I have been living together for over a year now and we're generally very happy together. One of our recurring arguments seems to occur whenever I visit Angel's family. Sally has expressed that she thinks I'm stuck in the past, that I don't respect her and that she feels like a replacement.

I've tried to express to Sally that Angel was important to me and the time spent with her family brings me a real sense of joy, but that it doesn't diminish my feelings for her. I've done a lot to try and accommodate Sally and make her feel more comfortable because she is important to me. I've reduced my time spent with Angel's family, from a couple times a month to a maybe four times a year. All belongings of hers have been put in storage, save for a couple pieces of artwork that I like that Angel had bought. I have removed all of Angel's photos from the digital photo frames in the house. I try not to even mention Angel's name when Sally is around. Some things were easier to give up than others, but I told myself it was worth it so that Sally can be comfortable and happy, because I do love her and want a future with her.

Tuesday was the sixth anniversary of Angel's death. Yesterday would have been Angel's birthday. Last night I went to her brother's house and the whole family and I got together to celebrate the person we lost. I still get a lot of joy from hanging out with them. It makes me happy to see how the kids have grown and that they're still happy to see their uncle. I feel guilty that I visit so seldom.

When I got home last night, Sally was cold with me. Today she started a fight about something trivial and then asked me why I still had photos of Angel on my Instagram. Why I don't respect her and why I make her feel like a shadow of my old girlfriend, a replacement. I feel so defeated because I feel like I've given up so much and tried so hard to make Sally happy, and none of it is enough.

Am I looking at this the wrong way? I'm sure I've left out details that might provide more insight, so if you feel inclined to chime in, I can try and provide more context. Any advice would be appreciated.

Edit: I have tried to include Sally in the visits. She has met them, and they accept her as much as they do me. They ask about her when I don't bring her along. Sally just insists that she isn't comfortable, and I have tried to respect that.