i (18m) recently broke up with my gf (19f), we were in a rs since 1 year now, theres been so many times that ive asked her to change her ways of dealing with stuff

due to past trauma shes very very sensitive, she overthinks a lot and slowly this rs started to rarer bad times and a lot of good times to now rarer good times and a lot of bad ones

i know, people might say its a phase, but the stuff ive been through was too much for me, ive never cried this much for someone, ever, ive never gotten panic attacks before but i have, for her, once

all this feels like its who she is rather than it being a phase

shes always been there in my lows, shes been my number one supporter, even rn she wants me back, and ik if i go back she'll be very happy, but im drained, emotionally, mentally of carrying this relationship on my back, saving it on the cost of my mental health, having the smallest stuff create big ordeals, stuff that could've been handled easily but turning into arguments

im confused...im afraid i wont find anyone who'll ever love me unconditionally like she does, accept me for who i am and how i look, be there for me in my lows, but at the same time, im no longer the lively person i was some time back, and i believe the relationship contributed towards that, to the point of emotional burnout

im tired of consoling her every day.. its come to the point "ah, shes just overthinking again, its fine she'll get better", ive always wanted to reassure her, and ive always tried my best, but it seems like these days she wants to listen to her brain more than me, my tries feel ineffective, useless

i struggle to find the good moments, shes just sad most of the time, she still sacrifices a lot for me.. but i just feel like im giving more than what im receiving in return.. to the point where normal behavior between each other feels like a blessing God Himself has given me.. in the past month, even this blessing hasn't sparked anything in my brain like it once used to

ive run out of drive for this relationship, it seems like memories and attachment is the only thing that makes me wanna go back rather than love and enthusiasm

am i being irrational.. am i just in self pity