Spoiler alert: she didn't.

This is kind of a long story but I’ll try to keep it short. I'm writing this here since I feel like I lost my friends and my support system on general and just want outsiders advice on how to move forward emotionally.

Basically... last semester I was stuck in a really unhealthy situation with this guy (I'll call him Donut). It wasn't romantic... more like he’d call me drunk, we’d hang out, I'd cry, and the cycle would repeat. I was chasing validation, and it messed me up pretty badly. One night, Donut called me a burden while he was on a call with my close friend (let’s call her Matt). It broke me... I have past trauma around feeling like a burden, and hearing it out loud crushed me.

I was able to get over Donut but at the same time, I started realizing other stuff... mainly about Matt and how I realized she was disrespecting me as well.

At a party earlier that semester, I got really drunk and ended up talking to a guy (I'll call him Dil) that Matt’s talking stage (Chris) brought to the party. I didn’t know Dil at all. I was so out of it that I didn’t realize who was asking when someone asked to sleep in my bed... I said yes thinking it was someone else. Dil ended up sleeping in my bed. It wasn’t consensual... not in a screaming "no" way but in a way where I didn’t even know what was happening. It crossed a huge boundary for me. Nothing terribly graphic happened but it still made me feel extremely violated.

At first, I couldn’t even process it. But when Donut called me a burden, everything kind of shattered at once and I realized how wrong it all was. I told Matt about it ask well as other friends. But Chris and Dil are best friends... and it felt like Matt brushed it off, saying stuff like "they're trying to reform" because of fraternity issues... making excuses without meaning to, maybe. But it hurt. A lot.

After a while, I just couldn’t pretend like everything was fine. I sent Matt a message saying I needed to step away. I told her that I knew how much Chris and getting relationship experience meant to her and that I didn’t want to be the person standing in the way. I didn’t exactly say "it’s him or me" but looking back, it probably felt like an ultimatum. I recognize now that forcing a choice was unfair... but at the same time, it broke me that it even was a choice.

Since then, we’ve barely spoken, which says a lot to me. Her silence to me feels like she priorities Chris over me. He is a talking stage with the potential to be her bf, while I thought as her best friend, she would care more that Chris's best friend did that to me. From what I can tell, she still has the whole friend group behind her. Some are even going to live together next year. Meanwhile I feel isolated... not because anyone’s mean, but just because emotionally, they’re still in her corner. And it makes me feel like I’m the villain for standing up for myself.

I know I could’ve handled it differently... maybe been less confrontational, but for me, I would have loved to received the same amount of communication back. But it still hurts that she couldn’t fully show up for me when something so serious happened.

So... AITAH for stepping away instead of trying to "keep the peace"? And how do I stop feeling like the evil one for it?

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

TLDR: A guy crossed serious boundaries with me at a party. My close friend's new guy is best friends with him. When I told her, she kind of brushed it off. I eventually told her I had to step away, which probably came off as an ultimatum. Now she’s fine and has the whole group behind her, and I feel isolated... AITAH for walking away?