20M 19F Am i making her birthday about me ?

Hi, i'm 20M and i've been planning my gf of four years birthday for 3 weeks now, we will celebrate it the 2nd of mai.

I'm turning to reddit because I don't want to "ruin" her birthday by sharing this with her more than i already did.

We are both students and aren't really able to afford extravagant birthdays, to the exception of my previous birthday, for which she used lots of her economies as to "make up" for the first few years we were appart (started as long distance until a year ago).

She made clear what she did for me (rent an hotel and activities with expensive cake) was in no way a standard and i shouldn't try to replicate it because we just don't have the finances for it.

Earlier this month i chose her a watch and some special trainer chopsticks so she can finally enjoy going to our favorite sushi place.

But i understood quickly it was very underwhelming for her, even though she tried not to show it.

This resulted in a somewhat of a tiny fight, although i couldn't critisize her for feeling the way she did, it's not like she can help it.

But then she left for a month and that gave me time to prepare for her return.

Now is a good time to put that i'm a bit ""special"" in the way i think, i tend to obsess over little things, especially hobbies, the nicher the hobby, the greater the obsession.

For her birthday i bought pink boxes, filers and lots and lots of tapes, stickers and other tools for scrap booking as it is a hobby she just picked up and i think is great.

I also bought her as a center piece a one step polaroid camera original from the 70's(20$) along with a box of sx-70 polaroid film (about 50$, where i live at least); So she can take pictures and put them in her book, as we lack the space and funds for a printer, and i think the novelty and aestetic is gorgeous, especially considering her favorite video game is life is strange.

I also bought her a polaroid satchel to carry it around with her film(20$).

I had to ride full speed on a city bike uphill under the rain to meet the seller before his deadline to get the camera, i was weezing for hours, in a very dangerous secluded part of the outer rim of the city (i'm not joking when i say uphill, our city is known for it), and then back.

All of it is packet up beautiful with pink boxes decorated in fake rose hair clamps that she can unclip from the boxes and use in her hair.

Let's just say i blew my monthly money and have been living off of stew and government student food banks.

And here the trouble starts :

I started to learn about polaroid after buying the camera, so i could teach her and tell her the tricks to nice pictures.

That's when I started liking polaroids, i had absolutely no interest before.

And the more i learned, the more i loved it, and the more i started obsessing over every model.

And then i realized, the model i got my gf (polaroid 1000) doesn't have focus, it uses extremely expensive film (50$ instead of 15$), and i realized it wasn't the one from her game.

So i went back to our equivalent of the Facebook marketplace.

And people were selling them in my country for absolutely nothing because they didn't know what they had.

And i started reserving some for when i had the funds, and i even bought one despite being financially really in the danger zone.

And i fell in love with a model, the polaroid spectra, and i got my hands on it, i wont tell you the price i got for a perfect model with accessories. Especially considering that it is an obsolete camera because the film for it simply does not exist anymore.

And i was generally very happy with her presents...

But then i realized... I would love those presents. And when i bought them i had not na ounce of interest in polaroid cameras. But now i'm obsessed.

And i'm trying to think of ways to cope, do i offer her them all and say it's to have different styles ? Do i say i got one for me so we could do it together, but isn't that the worst thing you can do for a present????

I'm beat. By this point i'm almost certain i'm going to disappoint her and i'm falling into a spiral of having nightmares about it and being unable to sleep.

I feel like such a baby for being so insecure baout my presents. So tell me, have i made her birthday about me ? Or me about her birthday?