Hi, my name is Alex and my girlfriend’s name is Tiffany. We’re both really into fashion, and there’s an event coming up that we’re both modeling for. She’s also the stylist for the entire event.

She mentioned to me that she’d be styling the event about 30 minutes before I was notified that I’d be modeling. I was really excited for her, but when I got my notification, I asked her if it would be okay if I made my own outfit—or at least collaborated with her on it. I just wanted to wear something I felt excited about while also allowing her to have input so she’d still feel proud of how I was styled.

She got extremely frustrated and sad, saying that I was doubting her ability as a stylist and that my response was mean.

For some background: about a week ago, I had another photoshoot. I asked her what she thought about my outfit, and she said she didn’t like it and basically suggested I redo the entire look. I’m still unsure if that was just because she hated the outfit or because she thought it didn’t fit the theme well. Either way, she suggested an alternative outfit, which was nice, but I wasn’t excited to wear it. I ended up sending both options to the photographer, who liked them both, so I wore both in the shoot.

That situation left me a little hesitant when it came to her styling me—especially because the message for this new photoshoot explicitly said that the outfit should be a showcase of my style and culture.

She’s been giving me the silent treatment for the past few hours, and I’m just trying to understand—am I in the wrong? I made it clear that I wanted to collaborate and iterate with her, not reject her work. But she was adamant about having only one look that she fully chose, because that’s her job.

I know I shouldn’t expect special treatment just because we’re dating, but I thought it would be nice if we could both feel good about what I’m wearing.

Am I the asshole?