For some context- I (21F) have been dating my boyfriend (23M) for 6 months. We are in a mid-distance relationship (2 hours) and we have completely separate schedules. My boyfriend currently has a roommate who has become pregnant (23F). My boyfriend refuses to live with a baby and his roommate has fully neglected her responsibilities at home to “part-time” live with her fiancée.

We will call his roommate Ava. For privacy reasons my parent will just be called parent.

My boyfriend became frustrated with Ava skipping out on her responsibilities. He asked her if she had intentions on being home more, she told him she was planning on moving out within the next month to prepare for her baby.

My home situation is complicated, I live in a one-parent household but my parent is very dependent on others. My parent and I have had a decent relationship, but the constant people coming and going has been quite frustrating. My parent is now living as if they are a teenager, blasting music nightly, drinking heavily, etc. I’ve spent my entire life wanting to help this parent out and feeling responsible for their actions, I physically can’t do that anymore.

I work multiple 12 hour shifts and come home to music blasting through the night. To mention, our home is also very old and nearly unlivable. For anyone wondering, I didn’t move out sooner just due to financial reasons. To be transparent I have also had an unhealthy attachment to being my parents (parent.) I also put all of my pride into forensic investigation, I truthfully have gained a new sense of anxiety that something awful would happen. This is something I’ve been looking into therapy to work out, and I’ve stopped my studies entirely due to the anxiety.

It has been a common theme in my relationship where I want better for myself, but it is not attainable. My boyfriend gets quite frustrated with my situation as well, he’s the only person I am able to talk to about this comfortably.

With all of this being said- I plan on moving out with my boyfriend. He has even thought of ending his lease and us moving in with one of his family members to save. Here’s where I might BTAH; I gave my parent one month to figure out their financial situation. They are currently housing someone that has no job. I also have already transferred my job.

The friends I do have are worried about me, they think it’s incredibly early to move in with a partner and they think my decision is impulsive. I have no other options other than to stay in that situation or move out with my boyfriend. It’s too expensive in my area to move out on my own, and all of my friends already have started their lives separately.

TLDR; I gave my parent 1 month to figure out finances so that I could move out with my boyfriend of 6 months. AITAH?