3 years ago, my wife and I were having an argument, loudly and neighbors called the cops. They asked her if I was being threatening and she said yes and they arrested me. Nothing came of it because there was no physical violence.

She has apologized but never unconditionally. She said she felt scared but she admits that she overreacted.

That day I decided that I will never give anyone that much power over me.

So I don't participate in arguments anymore. If I think situation has even a slightest chance of getting heated, I just lock myself in a room.

I also seek other women whenever I feel anger regarding the situation. I have lots of things to say to my wife about how I felt, how I never threatened her that night. But I am scared it will turns into an argument and I will get arrested again.

My wife recently found out about my infidelity and she was upset and started shouting on me. Which scared me so I ran away.

We finally had the conversation over phone and I told her that only thing I will not be arrested for is cheating on her. So whenever I am mad at her, that is how I blow steam. It makes me feel good and in control.

I can never trust her again to not betray me. Seeking other women also gives me comfort that I won't be alone like I was that day.

She said that she shouldn't be punished for something she did by mistake forever.

I never thought it as punishing her but maybe. I donno.

What else am I supposed to do? I don't know a way I can trust her again.