For background information I, 20F, and my boyfriend 20M (we’ll call him D) have been in a relationship since December of 2023 so about a year and a half and has always been great and really strong. And good but like everyone out relationship wasn’t always perfect and we argue.

We got together December of 2023. In the summer of 2024 he got very very depressed he randomly broke up with me so I called him because I was worried. He cussed me out, called me names, said he was going to kill himself, said everything was my fault I caused his depression, and eventually I was able to get him to calm down and I took him back because I know depression isn’t his fault and I have a history of depression and I know how it feels. I loved him for his faults told him everyday and he eventually got better.

November of 2024 I moved 40 minutes away but it didn’t affect us much. He cried and I cried but we FaceTimed everyday hung out once to twice a week, and everything seems really good. I started to become deeply depressed after I moved I didn’t have friends I was alone I missed my old home and my friend passed away. And I tried communicating this with him but I don’t think it set in for him the way I took it when he was depressed. He’s always taken care of me and been there for everything.

About the last couple of months (since September) he’s been lapsing in what he’s promised to do. If he promises to call me he’ll forget, or if we’re talking about something important, he’ll fall asleep during the conversation, if I was trying to communicate being upset about something he’ll turn it into him being upset and then I’ll have to invalidate my feelings to justify his. I’ve brought up breaking up before, which was wrong and I’ve expressed to him was wrong and I’d never do it again, and he’s begged me to stay with him texted me on multiple numbers and apps just to stay and I’ve taken him back every single time because I thought he could be better and I believed in him.

Since March he’s started to ignore me, he ignored me 6 times since March where he’s unfriended or blocked me on certain things and won’t speak to me even when he’s active. Every time I win him back by begging and pleading he answers and says he’s so sorry, it hurts him more than it hurts me, he’ll never do it again, and he loves me. But he’s done it 5 times.

A week before all this happened we hung out and everything seemed great he was saying he loved me, he was playing with my hair, scratching my back, we went bowling he taught me how, we went shopping, we FaceTimed, we told each other about our shared sa experience, we’ve been rally great before this and we spoke up until all this happened. But I will say that weekend he had girls he said he didn’t know and hated accidentally added on his phone.

On Thursday april 10th we got into a fight. Hes been so busy that week and I missed him so he promised me he’d call. He gets home around 9 at night and doesn’t call. It’s around 10 after I shower and get ready for bed because I have classes in the morning and I ask if he’s going to call me. At this point I’m a little annoyed but disappointed when he says “I’m sorry I can’t call you right now I’m so busy and I have to much to do” so we start to argue and I say I’m going to bed and he keeps going and says “I’m sorry why can’t we just text” I’m getting more and more angry and decide to argue back and say I’m done with all his broken promises. He goes on to say it’s just an Argument and it would be stupid to end things and says “M why can’t we go further” In the morning I do feel bad and I text him and say “I shouldn’t have blown up that’s on me and I’m really sorry I know you were busy and I shouldn’t have acted like that. Let’s talk after your track practice.

The entire school day goes by on Friday and he doesn’t text me at all. He wasn’t active whatsoever so I didn’t think anything of it. My friend texted me and said he’s talking to these girls (We’ll call them Vanni and Marie) Marie is a girl he used to say he hated and made fun of all the time (But D and Marie used to talk and be more than friends) and D was also talking to Vanni (a girl we’ve previously spoke about that he said he didn’t know) I start to get a little upset because I understand being busy and not active but during lunch or break he was talking to them instead.

After school I ask him if he was ignoring me and he says “I wasn’t ignoring you I promise” and he goes to track. After track it shows he’s active and not opening anything I’m sending him. I text him until about 6 when he texts me and says “don’t come to my meet on Saturday, we are done, this is unhealthy and toxic” I text him that I have to go to the track meet anyways and ask him where this is coming from? He doesn’t answer.

I go to the track meet for my other friends and he’s there and I go to talk to him and he ignores me and walks away, I try again later, he doesn’t even look at me and goes to a group of boys and ignores me, I try one last time and he says ok but reluctantly. I ask him if he still loves me and he says “I don’t hate you but nobody treat someone they love like that you don’t love me…” and goes on a rant about how this is all my fault and he walks away. I try following him beaver I never even got a chance to speak and he tells me to go away, go somewhere else, he didn’t want to see me ever again.

I text him all Saturday asking him if he’s ok, when he’ll talk to me, where this came from, why he’s doing this etc, until Sunday afternoon when he texts me and says. “You can’t act like you love me and then treat me like you do when I take you back. Let me know when I can get my stuff”. So I have texted him repeatedly everyday and it’s now Wednesday April 16th and he has not answered or shown he’s cared.

I’ve texted him explaining I was depressed and I’m very sorry for what I did he broke a promise so I broke mine and that’s not right for either of us and we just have to have a conversation about this because arguments are supposed to make us stronger.

I thought he’d understand most because when he was depressed and treated me worse than just a tiny argument I’ve taken him back because depression isn’t his fault and I thought I deserved and he’d love me enough to give me the benefit of the doubt and accept me for my flaws and faults. I was depressed like he was but it’s not ok because it’s me and not him?

Nobody knows why he’s doing this because this is very out of the blue and random for him. When I say we used to be good I mean it. We used to be the couple everyone thought would get married and people would say they wanted a relationship like ours. But in an hour and a half track practice (the girls Vanni and Marie were there if that matters) he changed his mind and broke every single promise he’s ever made? And when I say break every promise like we planned our life together and had plans for the near future kids names, vacations soon, hanging out this week, engagement, the whole thing.

My friends and family are so confused as to why he’s doing this because we hung out the weekend before that with my friend and family and he acted so in love with me always hanging on me, telling me how proud he was of me (we were bowling I suck at bowling), showing me how to do things, shopping together, we faced time all that week and we were talking just fine up until he got home Thursday. Even that Friday we spoke after his school day was done he just started acting like that after an hour and a half track practice.

He took down all his public posts of me acknowledging me as his girlfriend, started posting pictures of himself as single (pictures I took of him and pictures he’s took for me) and refuses to speak to me.

My friends especially are very confused because they also used to be friends with him and he moved tables at lunch and ignores them all now. My friend went to go talk to him about how he was feeling and why he’s acting so weird and he cussed her out and started screaming and ranting about how he doesn’t give a f about me, doesn’t love me, and doesn’t f care about me. He called her a b and told her to shut up and get out of his business.

He hasn’t spoken to me and is now talking badly about me and hanging out with those girls and people he used to talk very badly about. I don’t think our relationship should be over because if an argument especially when i acknowledged my wrong doings, apologized, and tried my absolute best to make it up to him best I could when he’s ignoring me when we both were wrong in the first place. He seemed so in love with me and I don’t think you can fall out of love over a small argument he himself realized and said in an hour and a half.

How do I get him to realize he’s overreacting and he needs to calm down so we can talk whether it’s about being friends, going on a break, going back to a talking stage, or being back together with new boundaries set in place to make us both happier and have a better understanding of one another? How can I try to see we’re both wrong and to forgive me and stop ignoring me?

TD;LR My boyfriend of almost 2 years is ignoring me and breaking up with me after an argument and refuses to acknowledge me or tell me why