Here’s some background. My MIL was not a good mother to my husband whatsoever. Growing up she would choose men over her kids and drop her kids off at his grandmas and leave them there for months at a time to go live with her new man. She has been divorced I believe at least 7 times and is married to her 8th husband. 5 marriages happened during my husband’s lifetime. She clearly does not like me because she acts like I don’t exist. Example when she has came over in the past, she takes pictures of my child and her son only and posts how proud she is of him. Never acknowledges me. At our wedding she left early and made sure she got so many pictures of my husband and with him but did not want to take a picture with me. She always singles me out. She got angry when we expressed my mother and husband would be in the delivery room not her. (I didn’t work out that way since I had an emergency c section so only my husband was w me) When I had my baby 7 weeks early, she never cared about how I was doing only the baby. I acted asleep in the hospital bed when she came up since I did not want to interact with her and she said “oh thank god she’s sleeping. Take me to my granddaughter.” She only cares about her or my husband which is fine.

His mother and her don’t have the best relationship due to everything he went through with her. He communicated this with her and she of course stated crying about his childhood stating it wasn’t as bad as he thinks. That she is not a bad mom all that stuff whatever.

My mother watches my 5 month old 3 times a week and sometimes when we have date nights or if we both work on a Sunday my daughter will spend the night at my mom’s house. The Sunday before this his mom asked to come pick my baby up to take her to a family birthday party and I flat out said “No, she will be staying here this Sunday. If you would like to see her please come anytime after 4 on M-F” I work Sundays and my husband sometimes does too. She has yet to show up any of those days. My mom posted a picture on Facebook post of my baby and his mom commented “what a nice way to spend the day with the family on a Sunday” throwing shade at my husband and I for not allowing her to pick her up on that Sunday or see her on Sundays. They aren’t allowed Sundays because last time they came over while I worked the 1 rule my husband told them was to not bother me. And what did they do - they bothered me the entire time. Her husband kept waving me down to take my headset off to talk. Like dude?? So we did try. But they ruined that.

Now that I’ve gotten the background out of the way. My husband approached her regarding her comment throwing shade at us. She stated it wasn’t and my husband doesn’t believe her. She then proceeds to go “why is it you favor her side of the family over me. It’s extremely obvious because you won’t even let me pick up my own granddaughter on a Sunday when I asked but she can stay with her mom.” My husband then explained my mom watches her on a weekly basis so she has everything she needs at my moms. His mom states all she needs is formula, a bottle, and a car seat and she will be fine. No ma’am unless you intend for her to be in her car seat the whole time she needs more.

After that she then told my husband “it’s just not fair because as a her grandparent I deserve to see her” and basically mentions she has rights? She’s referring to grandparents rights… which ewe no.. I offer her 5 days a week to see our child and she doesn’t come and see her. Her excuse is she doesn’t like driving at night. Which is not my problem considering 4 is not night time..

She was not a good mother to my husband and her husband gives me bad vibes. I don’t want my baby alone with them period. If my child can’t speak and tell me if something wrong happened I don’t want her over there with them.

AITAH for this? I set clear boundaries with her and my baby. She continues to not respect them and continues to question them. I’m to the point where I almost don’t want her in my life. She thinks I’m not being fair but my parents were great parents to me and they love my husband and do anything they can for him and us. My husband even doesn’t want his own mom watching her. Only my mom. But somehow I’m the issue in the whole thing when my husband has been the one communicating all boundaries with her. am I not being fair offering her 5 days a week?