So I (27M) and my wife (25F) just got married. We agreed to allow my sister in law (27F) to live with us for 2-3 months so she can get a job in a new city she’s moving to. I'll call my wife Jane and my sister in law Sarah for this post.

For context, Sarah does not have the best relationship with Jane. Sarah has insulted, degraded, and verbally abused Jane in the past. On a family vacation I took with Jane's family over a year ago, Sarah and Jane were constantly fighting to the point where I was just uncomfortable being there. I know every family fights, especially siblings, but their arguments (particularly from Sarah's side) were quite toxic. Sarah would say some pretty personal things to Jane in front of everyone that I felt like were crossing a line. After some time passed, their relationship improved. We even went to go visit Sarah in her city for 3 nights prior to her moving and it went well. We were thankful for her receiving us. We took her out to eat multiple times to show our appreciation and genuinely enjoyed our time there.

Fast forward to a few months ago, Jane asked me how I felt about the idea of having Sarah and her dog come stay with us for a few months because Sarah was struggling in the country she lived in and was also having issues with her visa. I believe in helping family during a time of need however, Jane and I were hesitant on agreeing to this because Sarah has no money to get started, she has a history of fighting with Jane, and a history of living off of others. For example, Sarah's parents paid for her rent for over a year before she had to move, Jane and I would also send Sarah money throughout the past year when she was struggling, and we would later find out she was going out and partying with that money. Sarah also had the option of going to her parents' house in a different major city but she did not want to as her and her father don't have the best relationship. In fact, Sarah doesn’t have a good relationship with any family members. Her mom, her dad, her two sisters, there’s issues everywhere she goes.

We ultimately agreed to receive Sarah for 2-3 months but we were very straight forward on our rules if she wanted to live with us. No smoking cigarettes inside, no bringing people over unless we agree ahead of time, we're allowed to change our minds if things aren't going well, etc. Sarah agreed to our rules and she came. We also helped Sarah apply to benefits and social service programs when she arrived to make the acclimation easier on her. At first, it was going okay, some minor issues here and there but nothing crazy. One week later however, we all decided to go out dancing. That night, Sarah got drunk and ruined the night for us. Sarah got angry because she thought Jane walked away from her on the dance floor "leaving her alone" and she freaked out and yelled at Jane. The thing is, I called out to Jane and Sarah for them both to come to my direction but Sarah did not see or hear me so she got upset and thought Jane abandoned her. She yelled at Jane outside the club, and told Jane in front of everyone "you walked away from me for some dick?" referring to me. I found this SO disrespectful, it pissed me off so much. Right after that, our group was leaving but Sarah tells Jane and I we could not leave because she was waiting on a guy she met on a dating app. We all drove together as Sarah has no car and we were an hour away from home. We said no, we were leaving and she got even more upset claiming we were being inconsiderate. She told us about this guy a few hours prior but we were under the impression he was arriving then, not hours later. It was nearly 2am by then and we were tired plus she just fought with us. We all argued and Jane and I ultimately left because Sarah refused to leave. We were worried because Sarah was drunk but she insisted on staying and we couldn't force her to leave with us. After this night, Jane and I decided Sarah was not staying with us for longer than 2 months. Nothing more no matter what.

There have been several other instances of disrespect. For the entire first week, Sarah constantly criticized Jane and I about our life styles. Jane and I are fairly frugal as we choose to save our money to travel more so we don’t really spend much outside of necessities during our day to day life. We go out to eat once or twice per week, hit a bar here and there but nothing extravagant. Sarah was pretty vocal about how boring she thought we were which I found ironic considering where her life choices had landed her, broke and depending on others. We talked to her about this and her behavior the night she got drunk and I felt like we got through to her only for her to go right back to behaving like this not more than a week later. Jane and I also found out that Sarah had been bad-mouthing us to their mom this whole time but their mom knows Sarah isn’t very stable and told us not to take it personal but then again, how could we not? We’re helping her and all she has done is disrespect us every step of the way.

Another layer to this is her dog. We have a dog too, and the two dogs do not get along. Two weeks in, Sarah’s dog bit our dog so bad, we had to take our dog to the vet. We paid the vet bill and didn’t charge Sarah nor did we even mention the bill. We just moved on acknowledging that they’re animals and we have to keep them separate. Sarah has been apologetic about her dog and even got him a muzzle after the bite, but it’s been another source of stress.

It has now been three weeks since she's been here and we have had multiple fights about the same issues. Us not allowing her to stay longer, being inconsiderate during her time of need, changing our minds on certain things, etc. We feel like we're well within our rights to be firm here considering how she's acted. We want to put our relationship first and it doesn't seem like Sarah respects that. It feels like she thinks she's entitled for others' help, can treat people however she want, and for this reason we have been firm with her.

So, AITAH for not allowing Sarah to stay longer than 2 months?