So to make a long story short, I have a close friend whose birthday is coming up. Every year she goes out of town and for the past two years I have went. Fast forward to 2025, she books the airbnb, flights, etc. I did pay for my part of the airbnb as I originally planned to go. In March I ended up taking a job offer to relocate to another city. The move definitely set me back and I instantly had to prioritize and cut out extra spendings; her birthday trip in May 20th weekend being a huge one. One of the other friends that is going on the trip even told me that if she were me, she would not be going, and would focus solely on her move and just make it up another time. My thing is.. why is the birthday girl being so passive while the other friend is understanding? Anyways, I ended up telling her yesterday that I won’t be able to go as I have to prioritize this sudden move. And to add they were already booking reservations excluding me so I mean…. they already knew I wasn’t going. It’s just weird because I can tell the energy is off. She even gave me an ultimatum two weeks ago saying “don’t wait a week before to say you aren’t going” It just came off really entitled and rude to me. I just feel like a real friend would understand and not give me the cold shoulder lol.. so am i the assh*le?