I (31F) come from a big South Asian family—Punjabi Sikh, to be specific—but we’re pretty scattered in terms of how strictly we follow traditions. Some of my cousins go to temple every Sunday; others are married to white partners and only show up for major holidays. It’s not super rigid.

Anyway, one of my younger cousins, Sid (he's 26), got married a few weeks ago. The ceremony was at a gurdwara in upstate NY, and while most of us have been to one before and know the drill—head covering, no shoes, modest clothes, etc.—this one had an extra rule I hadn’t seen before: no socks allowed. They were super strict about everyone entering barefoot. Not just shoes off—bare feet.

Here’s where I might be the asshole. I have this thing with feet. Not a phobia exactly, but I’ve had recurring fungal issues over the years and I’m extremely self-conscious about my toes and heels. They look… not great, and even in summer I wear sandals with closed toes. I asked Sid’s mom (my auntie) if I could wear clean, unused socks just for the ceremony and she said flat-out no. “That’s not how it works, beti. Everyone’s barefoot, no exceptions.”

I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I told them I’d skip the actual wedding but would come to the reception. Sent a gift, wore the outfit, danced and smiled. But apparently my absence was noticed and not appreciated. My aunt has been cold since. My mom keeps making passive comments like, “Some people don’t know how to bend for family anymore,” and someone else in the family group chat said, “Imagine skipping your own cousin’s wedding because of… socks?”

And look, I get it sounds dumb when you say it out loud. I’ve tried explaining that it’s not vanity, it’s anxiety + hygiene + just not wanting to be hyper-aware of my crusty feet in a room full of people. But maybe I should’ve sucked it up? Sid hasn’t said anything directly, but I noticed he didn’t tag me in any pics. I don't even care about that—just hate feeling like the disrespectful cousin who made it about herself.

AITA for drawing the line over something that, in their eyes, seems so small?