I (17F) am turning 18 on April 18th, so it’s my “golden birthday,” and I was actually excited. My mom said she wanted to do something special and planned a “gift a day” leading up to it, which sounded really thoughtful at first. I’ve never had a birthday that felt like it was truly mine, so I was hopeful that maybe this one would be different. But now that it’s getting closer, I honestly feel more invisible than ever. For context: I live in Ohio, but I’m moving to Florida for college soon. I’ll be going to school on the east coast and plan to stay in Florida long-term. We’ve never had a lot of money. My parents have been separated since before I was even born, and things have always been tight. My birthdays were usually pretty bad growing up, mostly because of my older sister (19F). Somehow, she always made them about her. I had to share birthday gifts with her multiple times, which still hurts, especially since she never once had to share her birthday or her presents with me. One year, we did an escape room for my birthday because I love puzzles, and she spent the whole time complaining and picking fights. We didn’t even finish it. Another year we went to a big arcade, where my mom got wasted and loaded up all the money, that she was going to just give to me to spend, on a game card and then made me split my prize tickets with my sister. It’s like every birthday has just reminded me that I come second. This year was supposed to finally be different. My sister’s away at college on the gulf coast, and all I wanted was to go to Florida and finally meet my long-distance best friend (who lives 3 hours north my college is). We’ve been close for 9 years, FaceTime constantly, and have never met in person. I just wanted to surprise her by just showing up there and hanging out with her (she’s homeschooled so school wouldn’t be a conflict). That was my only real wish. The only other thing I asked for was real gold jewelry, as I’m trying to start a whole collection to just have in college because I just love adding jewelry to my outfits and it has to be real because the fake crap irritates my skin. But instead of planning around what I wanted, my mom made this whole trip about my sister again. The plan is to fly into the city her college is in, pick my sister up, drive three hours to my college (which I don’t care to see if I have to pick between that and seeing my friend) then drive three hours back to her college and fly home from there. Where my friend lives is also about three hours from my college, so we easily could’ve just flown there, hung out for a few days and then gone to see my college. But instead, my mom wants my friend’s mom to drive her halfway to meet us just so we can have a quick lunch together. That’s it. A rushed meal after 9 years of friendship—when I just wanted to spend a few actual days with her. And the whole “gift a day” thing hasn’t been much better. So far I’ve gotten fake gold jewelry. Giant hoop earrings and rings I would never wear, but what my mom wears all the time. I don’t even like that kind of stuff and she knows this. I feel bad saying this, but it honestly feels like no one’s paying attention to who I am or what I actually like. I know my mom is trying, but it just feels like I’m being ignored again. Like I always am, especially when it comes to my sister. I really don’t want to sound ungrateful or spoiled. I know there are people who don’t get anything for their birthdays. But this year was supposed to be special. I just wanted to feel seen. AITAH for being upset? Edit: Sorry I somehow forgot to include that I did bring this up to my mom and she said “welp tickets are booked nothing we can do now” and “I don’t know why you would want to spend time with a stranger rather than your sister” I also brought up asking if we could return the jewelry and she responded “why don’t you just wait to see the other things you’ll get before we talk about returning things.”