I need to get this off my chest. I’ve been in a relationship that started off with love, affection, and warmth. But over time, it's turned into something that’s been emotionally draining and one-sided, and I’m struggling to understand if it’s me or if I’m just being emotionally manipulated.

Here’s what’s been happening:

I’ve always been an expressive, emotional person. I love doing little things to make someone feel special writing poems, making custom gifts, sending loving messages, even getting us matching bracelets with our initials. But I never felt that same energy back from her.

Lately, she’s grown distant. She doesn’t send pictures when I ask (like a simple “fit check” or a selfie), something that used to feel natural. She’s lively and cheerful with her friends, talks and laughs with them but with me, it feels like I get the cold version. When I brought this up, she said she’s not emotionally attached to them like she is to me. But if that’s true, then shouldn’t I be the one who gets to see the best version of her?

I try to communicate how I feel, but every time I do, she gets defensive. She flips the conversation to make it seem like I’m the one hurting her by expressing my hurt. It makes me feel guilty for simply needing emotional comfort and love.

When I ask for the bare minimum affection, emotional support, or even just some effort she shuts down. I end up being the one apologizing for making her feel “attacked” or “criticized,” even though all I’m doing is sharing how neglected I feel.

I once told her that the pain was affecting my mental health badly and even admitted I had dark thoughts and she remained silent. No warmth, no comfort. Just cold indifference.

She accuses me of not doing things her way, not understanding her language of love, not being the right person for her. But how is that fair when I’ve constantly adapted, adjusted, and tried to love her in every way I could? I've owned up to my faults, worked on my tone, and even tried to match her way of communicating affection while she hasn’t met me halfway.

I feel like I’ve lost myself in this. I used to be buzzing with energy, optimistic, and open-hearted. Now I feel anxious, drained, emotionally cold, and numb. I gave everything in this relationship hoping she’d finally love me the way I love her but I’m always left empty.

And still, despite all this, I find it hard to leave. Because I still hope she’ll change… and that hurts more than anything. I’m scared to be alone. I’m scared that if I walk away, she’ll finally become the loving partner I was waiting for but with someone else.

Is this emotional abuse? Is this manipulation? Or am I just being too sensitive?

Please help me make sense of this. I don’t know what’s right anymore.