To give some context, i’m a 29F. I grew up in a small town with immigrant parents. We have no family here besides my parents and sibling. Growing up I didn’t have many friends. My parents argued a lot. My mother works night shift so once I got to high school I made some friends, but for fear of her and my Dad arguing I would always come home from any night out early just to make sure everything was ok at home. When it was time to apply for college, I desperately wanted to go out of state. My quality of life up until that point was pretty mundane and depressing. My mother didn’t want me to go. She wasn’t supportive, and made it seem like she created a happy home (which she really tried her best to) and that leaving meant she failed in that. I stayed for college. I never lived on campus, because, same thing, she couldnt bare the idea of me moving out. So I missed out on a lot. She works nights so weekends she’d be off. And she spent majority of it alone, so even in college I’d come home to spend time or watch a movie with her and the nights I didn’t, I’d feel guilty she was alone. I finished college, got a degree in the medical field and worked in my city for 1 year before finally moving out of state with my boyfriend. My mother was sad but she’d do nice things like send house decor for my new home, etc. But she’d also do things like send pictures of me and my co workers at my old job and be like “look how happy you looked!” “You used to worked with such great people!” So it was never fully supportive. The relationship failed and that’s another story. I bought a house in my hometown and am saving until I figure out where else I want to move to. I’m going through a bit of depressive episode and honestly just want to be alone and find myself. My parents don’t understand that, they come over unnaounced every week, and then joke that I’m weird it for not wanting them to come over. And honestly ever since I’ve been back, there’s always some emergency they need help with and it’s draining me. My mother works 2 jobs so she’s barely ever home and since then every time help is needed it falls on me. The first day I moved back my friend called me and said “your dad is on the side of the road his cars broke down.” I rushed to get him. 1 week after that I get a call from my brothers friend “I think your brother got pulled over and they’re taking him.” We lost 3 people in our family in a month due to cancer. I stayed with my parents while they dealt with grief. I helped my brother move into his new home. My own house had plumbing issues for 6 months that I had to deal with. Alot of these issues are out of my parents hands and it’s unfortunate for them also.

As of today, my parents basement is flooding (we’ve had rain for 5 days straight). My brother is out of town for work and asked me to go help, because my mom is at work also. AITAH for not going? I try my best to always help but I’m tired of being needed.

When I lived out of town, they had issues like this going on (like my mom got in a bad wreck, needed surgery, etc) This caused some friction in the relationship because I was flying back to help. They have nobody but myself and my sibling so I can’t be too harsh on them, and I love my parents but I just am drained and need to know if im the AH for wanting to distance myself?