Sorry if this is a little disorganized I just have a lot to say and I don't know what the order should be. Also things are slightly vague in the hopes no one I know irl will find this. My friend we will call her Lexi was a childhood friend and she has been in the same friend groups as me ever since. We have a friend group of 6 close people. Me and Lexi sort of drifted apart but we see each other often. Now Lexi is closer to Tori who I trusted alot until this all started blowing up. For the past year Lexi has been often saying that I'm one upping her when she's actually the one one upping me. If I ever say that I had a bad day she will immediately say hers was worse and I should suck it up. But I'm 'one upping' her since I connect what she says to a story of mine without realizing (I have ADHD and all my friends know, and all my other friends agree it doesn't come off as one upping) A couple of months ago she came crying to one of my closet friends (Ana) and told her she was planning on dropping me. Obviously Ana told me. I wasn't really shocked when she told me. Recently Lexi has been flipping out over whatever I say I'll be talking to my friend and she'll start talking over me saying I'm doing this or that. Ana and Belle have been consistently standing up for me because of how angry she is getting at me over small things. Belle has always been there for me but every time Belle's back is turned Lexi says oh good she's gone I've been trying to get rid of Belle for years. I have told Belle about this but she isn't fond of Lexi anyway. For the past couple months I've been head over heels for Sock he doesn't like me back I don't think, but I would tell Tori about him. I explicitly told Tori not to tell Lexi. A few days ago Lexi and Tori were talking about how Lexi may ask her crush out (I don't know who they won't tell me, also help whoever it is I hope the get away while they can) and then I said I just suppress my crushes and they were like that's why your not with Sock's real name. I was livid. People believe a lot of whatever I say so I tried my best to convince them it wasn't who they thought it was and Sock was a different person with Ana and Belle backing me up but I'm not sure they bought it. Later Belle told me she noticed me just stop and my voice shaking while I spoke. This isn't the first time Tori has told someone who Sock is a couple months ago I found out she told her boyfriend. I talk to her boyfriend alot since we are on a team together and are often in the same group. When I started noticing that Lexi was being toxic she interrogated me over text telling me that I was into Tori's bf. The next day Tori interrogated me over the same thing. And the chrery on top is when I told Tori that when Lexi interrogated me the day before she seemed genuinely into Tori's bf and Tori telling me that Lexi had said she used to like Tori's bf but she is "over him". (I think Lexi was projecting on me) It's been months since then and I still think Lexi is blantenly into Tori's bf. I didn't mind when Tori told her bf so much since obviously they are dating still she didn't have to tell Lexi.
I think the main reason Lexi hasn't 'dropped' me yet is since she wants all the perks I come with. Birthday/Christmas gifts, homework help, if she makes a enemy of me all our friend group but Tori will take my side. For the past few days I've been avoiding seeing Lexi and Tori by being away from them during lunch along with Belle and Ana. Another reason I've been trying to make it work is me and Lexi's moms are friends and Lexi's mom is lovely and I don't want to hurt that for my mom. I grew up watching Lexi throw a tantrum to her mom over every little thing. My house is the only place Lexi could sleep over without having a panic attack but I just don't want her round anymore. I simply can't handle seeing her face. Lexi has also said some very not nice things about ce rtain groups that I don't want to type here but it doesn't sit well with me. If she goes to her mom when this all blows up her mom will tell my mom but Lexi will have already painted me as the villain and herself as the hero. When I started writing this I thought my main problem was Lexi but now I'm starting to realize how sucky Tori has been. I am scared to leave them since they have the blackmail of Sock... I think it would be better for everyone if they left me. They can't paint it as my fault and no reason to 'retaliate'.