I’ve had a really rough couple of years with family and health issues.

During this time, I started making a close friend a bracelet to gift her for her birthday. I let her know I was doing this for her, and why, because she’d always been there for me. and she was touched and excited to see it.

As the year went on, my friend had things going on in her life too, she started a new job, and her mom was diagnosed with a progressive condition.

She became way less available to me during this time. She flaked out on plans and had less time to chat on the phone. this really hurt as my own family and health issues took hold. I felt like she was becoming distant and our relationship was changing.

In the end, I decided not to gift her the bracelet and to let her know why. I just didn’t feel the same closeness or that she’d stepped up as I needed her to, and I wanted to be authentic about that.

She was surprised and upset, and said it was a strange and hurtful thing to withdraw and weaponise a gift when she had also had difficult stuff going on in her life.

We’ve since drifted apart.