My dad (62m) is in the hospital for some heart related issues. I (26f) literally don’t care and feel sort of bad but I can’t feel any empathy for this man even if I try.

Growing up he was incredibly abusive. Dragged me down the hallway by my hair, chased me around the house with a belt saying my mommy cant save me now, called the cops on me twice for yelling at him, filmed me crying to show me how stupid I looked later, called me a cunt more than by my real name, said nobody would ever love me, I’d never find success, made fun of me if my friends and I got in a fight he’d say things like your friends don’t even like you, etc. Horrible, horrible man IMO. Never apologized. As he grew older he was less angry. But I grew angrier. Cause they made me feel it was my fault growing up but I was like fucking 11-15 years old like come on. My mom would just watch all that shit then tell me later thats how he showed me he loved me.

So I don’t like these people. Ok. They do not care about me. Sure they funded a lot for me and for that I have to feel some level of gratitude but it’s more like I’m guilt tripped into staying a part of the family. He does not ask me about me life or care about my life situation at all. I had got involved with a man who abused me like strangled and beat me and I told my mom and she kept it a secret from my dad and said she’d support me if I wanted to work it out with the guy. So I stayed for a year longer. Then he did it again and I had to move home and she told my dad and neither one of them asked if I was ok. No hug when I got back. Nothing, just a hey. And so now he’s having heart issues and I’m supposed to drop everything and go care about him? Nah. I literally feel nothing. The only thing I feel is slight guilt that I don’t feel anything.

tdlr, AITAH for not going to see my abusive father in the hospital after he’s proven to me my entire life that i do not matter to him?