This happened a few years ago but it still bugs me that I’m made out to be the villain of the story… (names have been changed for the story) buckle up it will be a long one as a lot has happened, this is also my first time posting so I’m sorry if I ramble on I just need to get it if my chest and would like to hear others opinions as to if I am I fact TAH….

So I (f) 40 became very close friends with my ex’s ex wife… I know but that’s just a whole other story, I’ll call her Nora, Nora and I became very close friend’s and would spend a lot of time together, we had some very good times together and I really did consider her a very good friend. We would go out on nights out together, have drinks at hers in the bar she had in her back garden, go out for dinner and cinema once a week, I’d help her and her family out all the time and loved and cared for all her family very much.

Nora didn’t drive, I did so I would take her places like shopping, to some appointments she’d have, take her to visit her mum etc, I never asked for petrol money but took it if it was offered (which wasn’t very often) I once took her mother to hospital and stayed with her the whole time (12 hours) after she had a fall, I’d also take her eldest daughter to hospital a few times to and also stayed with her too.

When Nora’s washing machine broke I did her washing for her (she had 6 peoples washing to do) for 3 months, I picked the clothes up washed them, dried them, folded them and dropped them back to her, again now money was offered for using my electric or petrol taking and bringing back the washing for her. I also did lots of other things for her and her family, but I wanted to as I thought that’s what friends do be there for each other and support each other and I believe that you should treat others the way you wish to be treated.

Nora would also help me out if I ever needed it, like lend me money or get a food shop for me (she had money, whereas I’m not as financially stable) but I would always pay back everything she lent me, paid for etc, on a night out she would lend me something to wear, do my makeup as I’m useless at make up, planned nice things for us to do on my birthday etc.

I introduced one of my longtime friends to Nora as well, I’ll call her Flora and we would all go out together which was great so I had my two close friends, we would talk and meet up all the time.

So myself and Nora had booked a long girls weekend away to Tenerife which was booked a year in advance and we paid it off over the year, originally it was just me and Nora going but then Nora’s eldest daughter and Flora then also booked to come along but would be staying in a different hotel from us.

Everything was great…. That was until I met my partner (m) 40. I met him on a dating app and the first time we meet for a date I was at Nora’s house, Flora was also there and they helped me get ready and once I’d finished with the date I went back to Nora’s and told them all about it.

Now I have no idea why but Nora never liked my partner even though they never even met each other, I think the reason for this is because my partner is not English he is Algerian, so Nora would constantly say to me that she thinks I should find someone nice, someone that would be good for me, Nora was convinced that my partner must just be using me for getting his permanent residency (my partner moved to England in 2007 and has his permanent residency since 2008) but Nora just said it must be fake, she knows people that can investigate him and find things out about him, he’s lying to me and just using me.

My partner works at a very well known London airport which again if he didn’t have the right paperwork wouldn’t get a job there and has done since 2011 and is still at the airport.

I told Nora all of this to which her answer was she got her little investigators to investigate him and he has actually only been working at the airport for 18 months (which I know isn’t the truth) and that he has a secret girlfriend he goes to see behind my back in Ireland (again not true)

So needless to say Nora just did not like him at all, didn’t want anything to do with him whatsoever without even giving him a chance.

My partner knew when we first got together that I had this girls holiday booked and didn’t have a problem with it at all.

Now I have a teenage daughter and after loosing my best friend of 30 years, I’ll call her Angel as she was and is my Angel who I miss so much, my daughters second mum basically to cancer, we took it very hard, and it was since then my daughters mental health started to go downhill.

Nora knew this was happening to my daughter as my daughter was upstairs with Nora’s youngest daughters once and had said that she wanted to jump out the window and kill herself so she could be with Angel again, as well as being severely bullied at school, but instead of Nora being a caring friend and helping me and my daughter, all she would say to me about it would be can you tell her to stop saying things like that as my girls are now coping her saying they want to kill themselves too… not is your daughter ok, shall we get her some help I’ll support you and be there with you if you need.

So as the time grew closer to the holiday things were getting worse for my daughter and I decided to tell Nora that I wasn’t going to go on the holiday anymore and she still has time to find someone else to go instead, which she did, but I also never got any if my money back that I’d paid for the holiday (just over £1000)

Nora and Flora both tried to get me to change my mind but I stood my ground and said no I wasn’t going to go, I didn’t say the reason behind it as I didn’t really let anyone know how bad things were getting with my daughter, so Nora just assumed it was because my bf didn’t want me to go.

Needless to say I was told that I’m a shit friend, that I’m a liar and I’ve done things wrong that she kept forgiving me for but now this is the last straw and she’s had enough, now I will admit I did somethings wrong that I think Nora is talking about which when I think back about the situations in fact I think she made the situation out to be more about how dare I do this to her, when in fact I was the one that was suffering in silence and actually needed my friends, but it was always turned around to be about Nora and how I’m the shit mate.

Flora who I’d been friends with for 20 odd years decided that she would actually also take sides and believed something Nora who she’d only known through me for like 2 years said that I had said about Flora which isn’t true and Flora should have known after all our years of friendship that I wouldn’t say anything like that about her, also now doesn’t talk to me and her and Nora are still friends.

It’s been 3 years now since this all happened, my daughters mental health is even worse than before, which of course Nora and Flora have no idea about, I’m still with my bf and we have a beautiful little son together.

Sorry for the very long post but AITAH for not going on the girls holiday…..?