so i (23f) have always had a complicated relationship with my mom. growing up, she was always more like a friend than a parent — she was pretty carefree, often prioritizing her social life over the household responsibilities. this wasn’t a huge issue when i was younger, but as i got older, i realized how many things were left undone or neglected, especially with finances.

now, i’m on my own and living in a small apartment. i’ve worked hard to get to where i am, and i’m finally in a place where i’m financially stable, which is a huge accomplishment for me. recently, my mom lost her job. i know it’s a tough time for her, but she came to me asking if she could move in with me until she got back on her feet.

i really struggled with the idea. on one hand, i feel bad because i know she’s going through a rough patch. but on the other hand, i don’t know if i can handle having her live with me. she’s always been kind of chaotic, leaving messes, borrowing things without asking, and never respecting boundaries. i have a small apartment, and the thought of living with her again just feels overwhelming. i’m also afraid that if she moves in, she’ll never leave, and i’ll be stuck in a situation where she’s relying on me indefinitely.

so i told her that i couldn’t let her move in with me. i offered to help her find a place to stay, help with job applications, and support her in other ways, but i explained that having her in my space just wasn’t something i could do right now. she was really hurt and accused me of being selfish, saying i should be there for her when she’s struggling.

now i feel guilty because i want to help her, but i also feel like my own mental and emotional well-being needs to come first. i don’t want to be responsible for her all over again. my family has been giving me a hard time about it, saying i should be more compassionate.

AITAH for not letting my mom move in with me after she lost her job?