i (23f) lost my mom five years ago in a car crash. my sister (27f) was driving. she wasn’t drunk, she wasn’t high, she wasn’t even speeding—just not paying attention for two seconds while messing with the radio. she hit the divider. she got out with a broken arm. my mom didn’t.

she’s carried the guilt ever since, and i’ve done my best to be there for her, but part of me has always quietly held a grudge. she got to walk away. i didn’t.

now she’s getting married next year, and last month she asked if she could wear our mom’s wedding dress. the one she kept preserved, boxed, and safe for decades. i said no. immediately. she looked stunned and asked why, and i said i just didn’t think it was right.

she started crying and said it was the one thing she wanted to feel close to our mom on her wedding day. i said that maybe she should’ve thought about that before killing her. it just came out.

we haven’t spoken since. our dad is furious with me and says i crossed a line, that it was an accident and she’s punished herself enough. but i feel like she’s trying to wrap herself in some fairytale moment, when in reality, she ripped a whole human being out of our lives.

AITAH for refusing to let her wear the dress? or is it okay that i still feel like she doesn’t deserve to?