I don’t think my age matters for this post. I don’t know where to start, so I’ll spill out what’s on my mind. It may be a little dramatic because I’m emotional right now. I don’t like it when my boyfriend hangs out with all his friends at once because he becomes a different person, and they egg him on to do just stupid stuff. I don’t mind him living his life. We are young, and at the age that we are still discovering ourselves and life. Like I think it’s cool, he walks at the train tracks at night, spray paints at the skate park, and, sometimes, gets drunk. My problem is that I become an afterthought and a burden when he is with them. I don’t text or call him a lot at all. Most I do is check-in and see how he is and what they are up to, just purely for conversation. I don’t spam him or get mad if he doesn’t respond fast or even in like 4 hours. All I require is that before I go to bed, he calls me so I can hear him say, “I love you goodnight.” Even then, I don’t mind; if it’s at 3 am, I leave my ringer on.

Recently, though, he started to get short and annoyed with me. We have been fighting a lot because he has been hypocritical, and I know he knows he has because he has been apologetic for it. When he is with his friends, though, everything is my fault. He just gets mad at me for even sending too many memes (3 memes in a span of 4 hours). He also tells his friends how much he wants to break up with me because “it’s always something with her” when every fight we have is because he is being a hypocrite. For example, he constantly used to cross my boundaries and look at thirst traps all the time and even imagine fucking those girls. When if I do the same thing with guys automatically it’s cheating. He also got so pissed at me because he has been trying to quit weed, and he was smoking the whole weekend when he was with his friends I asked him simply if he did and he canceled the date we were going to on. But he didn’t even tell me he just needed space instead he blamed it on the snow then after drove in 4 inches of snow in the middle of the night high asf and tipsy. Then he said he wanted to break up. After he came back and we made up, he wouldn’t touch me for days and used the excuse that he doesn’t like pda when it wasn’t an issue before. He only acts that when with his friends. He ignores me when I see that he is online on Facebook. He lies always, too, just not to say he needs space. Then, he always remained short with me and wouldn’t touch me for days. Even worse, he spent our anniversary mostly on his phone, calling and texting his friend Brunson. Even worse than that, when he takes me to hang out with him, he makes me sit at the skate park for 2 hours while he skates with his friends, even if I don’t have a board.

He also lets them mistreat me. I went to the skate park with them and I brought my boards. I have 4 boards, but I only bought 3. His friend wanted to borrow one, so I let him. His options were a longboard and a Walmart Sonic board because those were the only extras I had on me. His friend Ashton didn’t even look at me or say anything and grabbed the sonic board then proceeded to complain and make fun of it. His other friend joined in. He didn’t even say thank you just made fun of it. Then another time with his friends is when I called him (because I thought he was cheating because doesn’t all of this sound like he is? Turned out he wasn’t but can you blame me?) anyway when I called him he picked up on speaker and I simple asked if he was cheating. He laughed on the phone with his friend hard. He was stupid high too after he told me he quit. He also never picks up the phone with his friends on speaker. Never. He tried to lie to me and say he did it everyone though. I also understand why he be upset a bit if I asked if he was cheating but he literally stalks me on life 360 and even once made me video call him while I was pooping cuz he thought I was at my neighbors house cheating on him. My neighbors are very old married family men.

Today he is going to his friends and sleep over there. I told him I don’t want to sleep over then he got mad. I didn’t say couldn’t I just said I don’t him too. I even told him he could like I even have a say in what he does.

Am I the asshole here?

(Another note here I don’t have a problem with weed as long as it’s treated like alcohol. Meaning I don’t think people should be using it as a coping mechanism. His addiction was so bad he was risking his job by going in high and he smoke whenever he was seriously upset and ignore all his problems. It was his idea to quit and asked me to hold him accountable for it.)