I'm going to try and keep this as unbiased as possible. I used to be in a relatively big friend group. I never had any problems with them talking to boys or anything and there were two or three that were a little boy obsessed which wasn't my style but I never judged them for it and let them do as they please.

Relationship one: let's call her Jessie, started dating this guy who me and all my friends loved he treated her so well, he was super nice to us, he was smart, like a total catch and she is really pretty too so they just looked like a good couple together. One day we had been drinking and a friend and I had gone back to her boyfriend's apartment with them to hang out some more while we waiting to go back out that night. When we were sitting in his apartment he said something she didn't like and we watched Jessie hit her boyfriend in the face then immediately again on the shoulder and start gaslighting him that she never hit his face, although he was bleeding, to which he drug my friend and I into it and we both had no idea what to say. I regret this to this day but we were both so drunk and in awe at what she did we pretended to fall asleep to avoid getting drug into their now argument. We ended up sneaking away and didn't see them for the rest of the night. Then two weekends later we were over again and she started screaming at him about how much she hates him and calling him this horrible names and saying these horrible things about him to him to which I had to drag her out of his apartment and to a (sober) friends car to get taken home in which she was hurling insults at me and trying to push me off of her all while still insulting him. When I got her to the car I went back in to get the rest of our friends and he was on his couch crying saying he didn't know what to do to which I told him I wouldn't blame him for breaking up with her because their relationship is not healthy. Fast forward a few months and someone told her I said that to which she bitched me out at a local bar with a lot of people we knew and started screaming at me. I tried deescalating it 3 times, but I was drunk and have anger issues which I go to someone about, so I ended up screaming back at her and she left crying.

Relationship two: my best friend, let's call her Kelly, was heartbroken by this one guy who kind of played her and ghosted her to date someone else. Now to put it in perspective this girl is one of the most gorgeous people I know and she's insanely kind and this man, to put it nicely, looks like one of those crusty white dogs after it's been left outside. Well he ended up breaking up with the girl and Kelly started talking to him again and seeing how happy it made her I would always go with her to hang out with him and his one friend while none of our other friends would go because they hated the people he lived with, as did I and one of them was my ex I don't have a great relationship with, but I put that aside. At first it was really fun and I really enjoyed seeing how happy she was and it seemed to be going really good. Now I have a really dry sense of humor that I don't use with people unless I'm really close with them so I started making jokes to him like that and he got really mean back so I stopped, thinking he didn't like it. However, he took that as we were close enough he could hurl insults at me left and right and actually got in my face twice and threatened to fight me, in front of her. It also wasn't just me he was mean to it was all of our other friends too. On top of that, she started ditching us to hang out with him and canceling plans to be with him and she made it very evident he was her #1-10 priority. We sat her down and told her how we felt twice and when nothing changed I kinda gave up chasing her and trying to rebuild the friendship we once had and became standoffish with the boyfriend. She ended up getting mad at me and saying I never made an effort to get to know him or try to like him, even though I was the only one who initially would hang out with him and her. Also, I'm not going to dismiss that a full grown man got in my face twice and threatened to fight me, a woman.

Relationship three: my friend, call her Sophia, was always a little boy crazy but she was one of the funniest and nicest people you'd ever meet, always had the whole room laughing. She had struggled with dating so in the summer when she met this guy it was going really good. The issue was, she never really told any of us about him until they started dating, a month after meeting. That's not the part that's odd to me. They had said "I love you" a week or two into dating and had already been discussing their future. I've had some not great relationships in the past, including aßuse, grooming, SA, and other things so naturally with how fast this was moving I became worried. Me and the rest of our friends all displayed our concern about this. We hadn't met him up to this point so that was our only impression. Then when we finally did meet him, we all agreed he was a little weird. I don't mean that as a judgy thing either like my type is nerds and guys who are kinda weird so I meant it in a no harm way.

Now this is when all three tie together. After Jessie found out what I told her boyfriend, she told Sophia and Kelly what all of our friends had said about their relationships/boyfriends but instead of saying we all said it she put every conversation on just me. You'd think it would be a red flag that I somehow knew and spoke about things I didn't even know about but they didn't think that much into it. I ended up spiraling feeling that people were angry at me although two of our friends had been supporting me so I kinda distanced myself for two weeks to get my mental health right, as I'm someone who deals with severe depression and those thoughts which they all knew, and when I came back to talk to all of them as a group Jessie had turned them all against me. Jessie is a definition narcissist and I think her middle name is gaslight. Essential the conversation was them telling me I was immature for running away from the problem, even though I told them I was struggling mentally to the point I booked an emergency therapy appointment, and blamed everything on me. I even tried getting the truth out about certain situations to which the other person involved said that it wasn't true and it's my fault because I'm so stubborn headed they felt like they had to agree with me. Now I'll admit I am stubborn but I have never been the person to judge someone for having a different opinion than me about something and always hear out all sides. I even pointed out a specific time when they were sitting on MY BOAT when I had gotten back on and walked into a conversation where they were actively talking about how much they hated Kelly's relationship, specifically her boyfriend, and they denied that ever happened. My sister was on the boat and agreed with me that they were talking about it before I was even there.

I essentially became everyone's scapegoat and all their dirty laundry was aired out on me. I am now no longer friends with any of them because of this. Idk if it's because some of them believe that I truly was the only one who said and thought these things or if it's because some of them can't handle knowing what they did to me. I have always been labeled as a great and loyal friend and that's one thing I pride myself on. People literally describe me as a person who would take a bullet for the people she loves so this has destroyed both my confidence and self esteem. I was always giving and would drop everything for these people and would drive these people everywhere (twice to Florida and Tennessee included) without asking for any gas money. So, am I the asshole?

Edit: sorry I'm new to Reddit I tried to fix this lol

Also, to add on to Jessie. I'm no longer friends with any of them although I've turned the other cheek and chose to be the bigger person (still wish them happy birthday, still send them texts on special days,etc. although none of them reached out to me on my birthday nor when my grandpa passed). However, Jessie and I got stuck in the elevator the other day together and she removed me and unfollowed me on insta prior to this (I know it's not that deep but in a sceenager world it still means something haha) so it's evident she doesn't want anything to do with me. I had my headphones with noise canceling on so when she stepped in I smiled at her to which she smiled back at me and then I went back to my phone. Apparently she said Hi which I didn't hear so I didn't respond. She is friends with my neighbor and my apartment walls are thin so when I got into my room I heard her yelling about me to my neighbor and how immature I am and all this other stuff. This went on for 30 minutes in which I heard people change the topic multiple times. At one point she said "thank god she had headphones on so it wasn't as awkward" which means she acknowledged I probably couldn't hear her before going on to complain about how I blatantly ignored her and purposely didn't say hi. This isn't the first nor the last time I heard she continues to talk bad about me unprovoked as multiple people have told me she always brings me up. I have tried my hardest to remove myself from the situation and continue with my life including moving out of my apartment I shared with Kelly because of the way she was treating me.