Hey Reddit! This is a throwaway account, and I (29M) am in a predicament because my girlfriend (26F) of two and a half years is currently now affected by this although she has been incredibly supportive and understanding. To preface, I did tell her early on in our relationship that this had occurred to keep open communication and to be honest. I apologize for the length, but I need to add details.

9 years ago at the end of May in 2016, I was 20 years old and working at Macy's at the time. There was a woman around the age of 30 working there who I found somewhat attractive, and after talking at work for a couple weeks we decided to go and grab a bite to eat at a restaurant right outside of the mall. Well an hour or so went by and we decided to go back to my place for a bit and hang out. This is where it gets interesting.

I was a virgin, naive, and was incredibly ashamed to be one at the age of 20. So we went upstairs, one thing led to another and the next thing you know we are kissing and taking eachothers clothes off. I started off using a condom, but shortly after she took it off and told me she was on birth control. Dumb 20 year old me thought it was a good idea to have intercourse unprotected with someone I just met, and ended up finishing inside her. Well, we had sex a couple more times after that in the coming week and then a series of unfortunate events started happening.

I noticed a day or two after the first encounter that I was having a breakout in my genital area. I thought maybe it was just a reaction to something, so I ignored it for a little bit. This wasn't the only bad thing that happened. A couple weeks went by and she called me and told me she was pregnant. I was thinking, why would she be pregnant if she was on birth control? And if she was on birth control why would she be checking just two weeks after our initial encounter to see if she's pregnant? I remember taking it well and telling her it is what it is and I'll step up to the plate and help take care of the child no matter what ended up happening. She also told me she didn't want or expect me to be financially responsible for the baby which I thought was very odd.

She also made a comment that made me question things, as she said "oh by the way the baby will probably have blonde hair." She was blonde, and I know genes can be complex, but I have very dark hair and very thick hair because I'm part italian. Most people in my extended family have dark hair. After doing some research, I learned that dark hair is more of a dominant gene if one parent is blonde and the other is brunette.

Aside from losing my virginity to someone that gave me genital herpes (somewhat my fault I know), and also to someone who lied about something very serious to get what she wanted, here I was stuck in this situation. I had co workers tell me when all of this was going down that she was mentioning she had baby fever and wanted to have a kid before all this happened. I guess I was just used as a sperm donor? There's other information too.

I was NOT the only person she was having sex with during that time. I pulled her aside one time at work and asked her directly, "am I the father of this child?" I remember her responding like it was yesterday. "I dont know", she said. Because of this I ended up blocking her and didn't speak to her the rest of the time I was working there. I ended up getting a different job in October of 2016 and left that toxic environment.

I was devastated. Not only did I end up with genital herpes, but I was also worried that I might be a young father unexpectedly. Well, I had multiple people tell me that the dates didn't match up, and something was off. The whole time I had her blocked, not once did she try and find a way to reach out to me. There was ways - her sisters in Florida had my Facebook, and other members of the family could have tried to reach out. But nothing.

Well on February 1st, 2017 the child was born. My name is obviously not on the birth certificate. I remember this date because I had unblocked her on Facebook to see out of curiosity. My mother even told me the dates didn't add up because we had intercourse either the weekend of May 20th or the 27th of 2016. I know its more complex, but for the baby to be born at that time she would have had to have conceived early to mid May I believe? Anyway, because I never heard a peep about it, I just left it alone because in my heart I felt that it wasnt my child. I Would like to add that within her time of pregnancy she moved back to her hometown a few states away.

A couple years went by and still heard nothing and figured the child wasn't mine and the fact she moved to a different state. In those two years though the situation traumatized me. I dealt with serious depression and anxiety. Mostly from getting herpes, but also feeling like I was used, lied to, and manipulated amongst other things. Up until just yesterday morning I lived my life like nothing ever happened. And then I get a text message...

1:02am 4/26: "I know its been almost 10 years, but I think we should talk. This is (name redacted) btw. I hope you're doing well."

I read it around 6am yesterday morning and my heart sank. I immediately woke my girlfriend up and showed her the text. I responded to the text mentioning how she gave me herpes and I had to deal with the aftermath of getting an STI. I didn't mention anything about the kid, and to this moment she still hasn't responded to me since. My girlfriend said she would like closure and know if I am the father of this child. It wouldn't change anything about our relationship she has reassured me. Me personally, I dont feel the need for closure because there are so many red flags about the whole situation, and I also have an intuition that he isn't my child.

Since this happened, my girlfriend and I looked at her Instagram page and my girlfriend swears she sees similarities between me and the kid, but we asked other people in our family their opinion and they said they dont see any features that stick out that would indicate that im definitely the father. The kid has long straight blonde hair. And again, I have very curly, thick dark hair. I told my girlfriend that maybe her mind is convincing her to see a resemblance? I didn't disregard her thoughts, and I still remain open minded.

The fact that she hasn't responded to my text since I sent it yesterday morning, tells me that she was just reaching out to me out of curiosity for whatever reason. If she was trying to tell me that she believes I am the father of her son, I figured she would have responded? I mean what are these games 9 years later? It was also very early on Saturday morning that she sent it at 1:02am, assuming she was drunk or under the influence of something. So my main question is, AITAH for not requesting a paternity test when the child was born, and also am AITAH for not requesting one now or in the future ESPECIALLY if she doesn't respond to me?

Tldr; Woman reaches out 9 years later through text saying "we should talk" after not knowing if im the father or not of her child.