45F remarried to 54M, second marriage for both. Been together almost 8 yrs now, briefly separated back in 2022. My husband is a retired combat vet who has limited emotional maturity and insecurity issues, not a great relationship with his 4 kids and seems at times codependent on me. Issue at hand...my sister had planned a sisters trip to the Outer Banks next week and when I told my husband about it, he made it all about him! "Sure that's fine. It's not like I haven't wanted to go out there with you for a trip. Go have fun!" Problem is one of my constant issues is that he never engages with any planning at all. I make suggestions all the time and it never materializes into anything. All of the planning and details fall on me if I want us to ever go anywhere. However if it's a military match, camping trip or Jeep jamboree, he's all in. Makes the plans, secures the hotel, buys his tickets, etc. It's frustrating that he only commits to something he wants to do. The guilting he tries is infuriating. I want his input, and his interest in the planning. So I settle for nothing at all because it just turns into BS. This was a contributing factor in our separation. I moved 3.5 hrs away from my family to live with to him and it's so isolating considering the lack of relationships he has with his local children. Not that it's far at all, but I get guilted just for wanting to drive up and see my dad for the weekend. God forbid I want to spend time with my family who actually get excited to see me or miss my absence, unlike his family. Ooohh, and the gaslighting. "Oh so if I don't have anything to say, I'm just not interested right?! or "You never want to take off work and plan something with me!" Let me be clear...I Am The Only One Suggesting We Do Anything