I (28F) have a younger brother (27M) who has a girlfriend that is currently pregnant (I believe she’s due in June). I have meet her twice and I have made it clear that I really don’t care to get to know her or have anything to do with the kid when it is born. Let me say first that these feelings aren’t personal. It’s more like “I don’t like dealing with problems caused by other people who make decisions which lead to situations they are unprepared/unable to deal with” - this will make sense in a moment.

It’s also worth mentioning that my brother and I do not have the best relationship. He has always been doted on by my parents and even though he’s a decent guy, he takes people for granted and is self centered. I’m sure he has plenty of negative things to say about me as well, so let’s just say we’re both at fault for not getting along.

My brother also owns his own business and even though he’s only been at it for a little over a year things are going well for him (important detail for later).

So a year or so ago my brother was talking to/dating this girl Emma and then all of a sudden they stopped talking (I don’t know all the details but it seemed like he was fed up with her behavior). I don’t know very much about their relationship because I don’t talk to him often, but our mom keeps me updated on the big stuff.

So, cut to October of last year and mom tells me that Emma and he are talking again. I was confused, but didn’t think too much of it, until my mom told me that Emma was pregnant!

At first I was just shocked & was trying to do math in my head to make that make sense - until mom informed that the baby was NOT my brothers.

Apparently, Emma had a one night stand with a random guy during the time she and my brother were not seeing each other and surprise she was not on birth control.

*I’m not 100% sure about this, but I heard rumors that she told the guy she was and insisted he not use a condom, but that was never confirmed.

Regardless, she ended up pregnant and the guy said he would pay for her to get an ab**tion, but Emma said no. The guy then told her he was not interested in becoming a father and co-parenting with someone he knew for a few hours and left it at that.

So that all happened and not even a month later she was reaching out to my brother trying to reconnect. It’s worth noting that my brother was working a lot with her a relative of hers due to his business at the time and honestly I think that was a huge part of why they ended up getting back together.

According to him, Emma doesn’t get along with her mom all that well and her home life isn’t the best. I truly think that had a lot to do with why she reached out to my brother. He’s a steady guy - especially now with his business stating to do well and I think Emma saw him as an out.

It’s so weird, because this situation is eerily similar to his last serious girlfriend - only difference was that they were together for like 2 years, broke up because she wanted to start a family & he said he wasn’t really for that, got back together for like a week, and then she was pregnant by another dude within a like 2 months. It was WILD. She also had an overbearing family situation.

I’m not saying both girls tried to use my brother but…..

I also want to say that I don’t hold anything against the girls for wanting a better life, but I just don’t approve of the whole get pregnant/married to get out of a bad situation tactic. My parent’s divorce was brutal and was made worse because they tried for so long to stay together for our sake - so I’m not big on relationships being “saved” by babies or weddings.

Anyhow, my brother is apparently going to “take care of her” and the baby. Keep in mind, this is the same guy who lives at our dad’s house rent free and doesn’t have any bills apart from his equipment, truck, and toys. My dad even pays for the his dog’s food. So yeah, not sure how that’s going to work honestly.

Side note: Before my brother lived with my dad he lived with mom and I. He never washed his clothes/dishes and only helped with the bills when I got onto him about it. Mom let him get away with a lot. He ended up moving in with dad after we had an argument about it.

Emma does have a place that she is fixing up (the old girlfriend did the same thing) - gosh he really does have type. I’m not sure what their living situation is going be but I am worried that they will not be able to handle everything.

This is where the whole “I don’t want anything to do with my brother’s pregnant girlfriend” come in.

My mother and I have discussed the situation many times and I have made my opinion about being their unofficial babysitter/doorstop clear. It’s not happening. The thing is my mother is a push over when it comes to my brother. He can go weeks not speaking to her but all is forgiven as soon as he calls - usually because he needs something. I literally cannot remember the last time he even got her a Christmas, birthday or Mother’s Day present.

You would think she would want to have some boundaries in place due to both of their tendencies - or at least respect mine, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I mean I pay for more than half the bills in the house, nearly all the groceries, and am always taking care of stuff for the house. I’ve also never missed her birthday, Christmas or Mother’s Day. That doesn’t seem to matter though, because she always considers him first despite everything.

To prove my point, she recently asked if I was okay with her going down to her friend’s place at the beach for the weekend. I told her I was fine with it (we have dogs and two get very carsick so she and I usually don’t get to go on trips together because one of us has to stay with the them) and to enjoy herself.

She mentioned me that my brother might come down for a day and I said I didn’t care. I had to work over the weekend so it wasn’t like I would be able to go even without the dogs.

She called me before she left, we spoke for a minute and I went about my day. She called me when she got down there and both times we spoke I was still under the impression that she was alone.

Then I tried to FaceTime her that night so she could see the dogs before we went to sleep and she didn’t answer. I thought it was weird, but then she called me right back and I told her to FT me instead. She eventually answered and I noticed she was acting weird, glancing around and such. I automatically clocked her behavior and was like what are you doing?

Turns out Emma (and her dog) had rode down to the beach with her for the weekend. I was pissed - not so much about them going but about my mom purposefully not saying anything about it. She always told me not to lie or sneak around about the truth growing up but damn if she’s not a hypocrite.

I found out later today that the only reason she even went down to the beach in the first place was due to my brother asking if he could stay there with Emma (her friend would only agree if mom was there too).

So I just told her “how nice” and flipped her off when she gave me a guilty look (immature I know) and then I ended the call. I haven’t spoken to her since and I have a feeling she will be trying to text me about how “ashamed I should be of myself” soon enough. That’s what she usually does when we get into it.

That was funny coming from the same woman who when I told her I was going to a concert in a different state and staying overnight (multiple months in advance mind you) she then went and told her friend that she would house sit for her during the same week (in a different state as well). Then when I asked my dad & brother to stay our dogs overnight so I could still go they said they would try (which meant they would not). This meant that ended up I driving 6 hours to the concert and afterwards got right back in the car and drove straight home. It’s hard being the only responsible or accountable adult in the family.

I do realize how this has turned into more of a rant than I initially intended and I apologize. Even if no one reads this it’s nice to write it all out.

I also realize that my real problem is truly not with my brother’s girlfriend - but let’s call it a catalyst of the issue.

Anyway, AITAH?

EDIT: HOLY CRAP THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION EMMA WAS LIKE 24 AND SHE IS ACTUALLY A FRESH 21 WTH!!! Oh god ew my brother is gross 🤢