My sister is turning 21, and she’s flying in to spend her birthday with me, along with my older brother. This was supposed to be a fun siblings weekend until my dad sent me his flight confirmation, saying it’s a surprise. Why on earth is he “surprising” my sister, who lives with him and goes to school in our hometown?! I was so angry for her and tried hard to get him to understand why he shouldn’t have bought a ticket and invited himself to stay at my apartment. I asked him if he acted differently with his parents than with his brother, and he said yes, of course. So I said, exactly! And he responded with, “I don’t get it.” I feel like reiterating how much of a bad idea this was may have hurt his feelings, and now he doesn’t call me as much…

Now my mom, his ex-wife, is contemplating showing up, and she probably feels more pressure to come now that he is. The last time my entire family was together was for my graduation two years ago, and I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I really feel bad for my sister, but now I know it’ll suck for me too since I’m hosting. I want to cancel the weekend entirely—my parents are still so invasive despite our age.