My bf (m21) is very sweet but kindia low maintenance. He thinks eating McDonalds in a car is a date which is sometimes but not all the time. I (f20) prefer more activity based dates such as walks or just stargazing. I’ve been in relationships where we have had different “maintenance “ levels and it’s caused rifts by me talking about.

Currently we are long distance and I make the effort of picking him to spend time with me(since is Michal is out of commission) and get him things to make him comfy at my place. I am in college and when he comes I try my best to make sure he has some fun but lately I realize that there isn’t a point. As he gets sleepy or just prefers to cuddle.(when he first visited we would go to the gym as a date)

Meeting on a dating app I expected some fluffing of his personality but not an almost 180. He went from saying he wanted to do picnic dates and other cute things but now it’s just him sleeping in my room and buying us food when he’s hungry. When I mentioned we haven’t really been on a date he listed the times of us eating fast casual at 2am as a date. He keeps saying we should go bowling when his at his place but never tries when he gets to mine.

This wouldn’t really sting but last time we “did the do” he just kinda laid there on his phone when I was saying how I was sore. He then repeated make a joke saying “how said you could do that” which is funny at times but made me feel like a whore. I have mentioned that I like and need aftercare but it’s never really given. I clean myself up and get my new set of clothes and get him washcloths. He’ll ask hours later if I needed anything and get all touchy but I can’t help to think he’s only offering because he wants to go another round.

He is a very nice young man and going through stuff but I feel like what I want and need in a relationship is too much for him but I don’t know how to mention it without him getting defensive as it has happen before. Should I just tell him everything I have issues with or just hope he sense something is off.