So a little context.

So this dates back to about one or two years ago, I was dating someone who I cared for but he wasn’t the healthiest for me and I’m not going to go exactly into it but I’m also not going to exaggerate and say he was unstable, just a man child.

Let’s call him Jim (23m at the time)

(This is backstory I swear)

So Jim and I met at a car meet and were kinda in the same friend group, and over time we started to like each other and one thing lead to another and we started to date.

Fast forward to about a few months later I have told him I have previous trauma and experiences that I would rather not mention with previous men.

At first I thought he understood that I didn’t want anything but he kept pressing and I caved. This was a constant battle with him and he would show up to my work when he had a bad day, he did this several times and I didn’t like it. Over time we talked through it and I thought we were better.

At about eight months he gave me a promise ring and I was happy with him, or at least I thought I was. I have an issue with sealing up or bottling my emotions until I break.

When I did break it was when I was talking to a coworker about what was going on and the issues I was having (this coworker was a friend and still is).

I told him I didn’t want to see him because I wasn’t doing too well that day, but he showed up anyways. I didn’t come out of the back and actually ended up having a full breakdown in the women’s bathroom. My coworker eventually got him to leave and I was told to go home and to break it off with him.

And I did. I left and it hurt but I managed with my best friend (now ex best friend).

This is where she came in, I met her through the same group. We were inseparable and she helped me through the issues.

She had her own issues with her now ex husband. (Mind you she’s 22 at the time of this)

(Let’s call her Sara)

This is where our story starts.

So as I slowly got into meets I went to one where my ex was there and I had the items he had given me including the ring, my ex best friend pushed me to give it back to him I really didn’t want to be near him but I did.

Fast forward a few weeks later I see him at another meet and I was taking pictures. He mentioned how he invited the group to his house for movies.

I said “oh that’s cool” in more of a dismissive I don’t care way. He didn’t take it that way he proceeded to say “you’re not welcome and I don’t want you there” (in context I’m a tad bit more emotional and deal with autism on a lower spectrum) so it kinda hurt. He also made this a joke with the group. So I left the group knowing staying in it would make it worse.

After I left and a few months later I had called a friend to tell him I had finally ordered a new part of modifications for my car and I was happy! And then we got to the topic of hot wheels and I asked him if he wanted one that was close to the same model of my ex’s and he brought something up..

He said “I don’t want you to hear this from me but there’s something about Jim you need to know..”

I had to tell him that whatever it was that I wouldn’t be mad at him because he told me.

And he told me Sara and Jim are dating. And everyone knew except for me.

Now it took me a minute to realize. But after that I hung up on him and texted her.

It took me a minute to get her to admit it but she did. And mind you I told her what he did to me.

She said that she was scared that I’d be mad at her. I told her that I was happy she found someone else but that it hurt me and she knows what he did to me.

I gave her a chance to explain and everything but I told her explicitly that she broke my trust because she didn’t tell me. I told her if she had just come clean and I didn’t find out by someone else, I wouldn’t be as upset or hurt. I would still be upset but less.

So less to say I was hurt and took a break from that..

A few months passed and she kept messaging me apologizing and I kept telling her that she broke my trust.

I found out she started to date him a WEEK after my birthday (beginning of May).

Mind you she was still married to her now ex husband.

I kept telling her to leave me alone and to just stop. She didn’t.

So I gave her an ultimatum.

Either me or him. And I know that isn’t always fair to people and isn’t nice but it’s the fact I was lied to and kept out of things that I thought were important to tell a best friend especially when it’s your ex.

She said she couldn’t pick and then sent me an ultrasound of her baby. She had only been dating my ex for about 3 months at this time.

I didn’t care at this point and told her to never contact me again.

And five days ago she texted me again a little less than a year after I went no contact.

I don’t know if I should respond or not I looked at her insta and she has a little girl now.

I don’t know what to do even writing this I’m still upset and hurt.

So AITAH?