Hello! I’m in a terrible dilemma due to my living situation. I’m currently living with my step sister and her ex boyfriend. A couple months ago I asked if I could be taken off the lease cause the living situation was bad, and she could get my room so they both would have their own spaces. I even gave the option to tell me no because if they needed the extra help then of course I’ll stay on the lease. However, I was going to move out into my parents and just pay the rent because I refuse to live with an aggressive man who doesn’t want to clean up after himself, as well as a step sister who doesn’t clean up after herself. Also, just to give her my room anyway.

Of course, I was told no that I couldn’t be taken off the lease, but rather we should try to sublease it. I immediately thought that was ridiculous but not impossible, but it would take a lot of deep cleaning in a short amount of time. I agreed to subleasing but as we can see, we haven’t subleased yet.

Recently, I started packing because the apartment has gone to crap (I don’t contribute to the mess at all besides my own room) I still had the idea that I was going to pay my share of the rent just not utilities. My step sister asks one day what I was up to since it’s been a while, I told her I’ve been packing and such. She tells me “about that, I wanted to talk to you about something” and proceeds to tell me how her ex man wants to get taken off the lease…what the hell? I wasn’t able to get off but he is? I told her wtf?? Why does he get to but I don’t. Her response is “because he doesn’t want to and he’s unwilling to ride it out till September” and that is so infuriating.

I was willing to ride it out, but he isn’t? So why is she prioritizing his feelings more than mine? I told her i understand where she’s coming from because I’ve lived with my ex dude before and I hated it, and it’s uncomfortable. Unfortunately that is what we all signed up for though, a couple moved in with me, that small possibility of breaking up happened and now there is not much to do. She insisted that we kick him out (give him what he wants) and let her two best friends move in..one of them doesn’t have a job and has her boyfriend take care of her, and the boyfriend works 40 hours a week with a not good paying job, and has no rental history.

What’s worse, is that she said she wouldn’t be able to afford it between the two of us due to car payments, which I believed and it made me feel bad. I talked to our mom about it and her response was “what car payments?” So she lied to me, and just doesn’t want to lower her expenses. Or is just straight up nervous that she can’t afford it, which I would have rather her told me the truth rather than lie. She wants me to stay on the lease as a third person. The elephant in the room is that the only reason why I have to stay on the lease is cause her friend doesn’t have a job, doesn’t want to get a job but still wants to move in so she wants me to pay her share. Even if I’m not living there.

Originally I said yes, because I wanted her to feel safe and ensure her that she will have a place to stay as well as not needing to stay with her ex bf. Then when I spoke about it to our mom (her bio mom btw) she said that would be stupid and they would be taking advantage of my kindness. I’m not stupid, I know that, but what choice do I have. She doesn’t have to sign me off the lease, and if she really can’t afford it then I would feel like I was dodging her. I told my stepmom this and her being the tough love lady she is, told me that it’s her own fault for wanting to move in with bums and it shouldn’t involve me.

So, I told her today that I think honestly that it would be unfair if I didn’t live her but continued paying, and I was met with “this isn’t fair to anyone, I hear that you’re frustrated but I thought we had this all set up! I won’t be able to afford it with just the two of them!” And more and more stuff. All because I stood up for myself. I cried because I feel like I’m being a punk and just told what to do, because I don’t want to screw up her and her friend’s living situation. But if I go through with it then I look stupid to my step mom, but if I don’t go through with it then my sister might resent me.

I don’t know what to do but regardless, I feel like my situation is just a lose/lose deal.