I (26F) am a stay-at-home mom with two young kids (2 and 4). I homeschool my oldest and take both to daily extracurricular activities. My brother (30) has been a single dad for a little over a year after a very messy and dramatic divorce. Before that, we didn’t have much of a relationship due to personal differences, but when he was at his lowest, I put that aside to support him.

He has two children (3 and 5), whom he shares custody of week by week with his ex. He doesn’t always make the best financial decisions and has a history of lying, which is relevant here.

A couple of months ago, he asked if I could watch his kids two days a week (12-hour shifts) since his nanny was moving, and he didn’t want to use daycare. He offered to pay me $600 per week for it. I was hesitant at first, but the extra money sounded nice, and I thought it would be good for my kids to spend more time with their cousins. So, I agreed to try it out.

The first two times were okay, but I quickly realized his 5-year-old is very difficult—acting out, being sneaky, and deliberately disobeying. It was exhausting, but I stuck with it because of the money. However, my brother started being unreliable with drop-off times, sometimes arriving three hours late without telling me until last minute.

Now, the real issue: He hasn’t paid me for the last two times. First, he said money was tight and asked for more time. Then, he claimed he had the money but never showed up to give it to me—twice. His work is only five minutes away, so there’s no real excuse.

I’m not willing to do this for free. It’s mentally and emotionally draining, my oldest is picking up bad behaviors, and it’s causing me to fall behind on my own responsibilities. But when I bring up the money, I feel like I’m just nagging. My mom and sister brush it off, saying, “That’s just how he is.” He has a habit of using people, and I’m starting to wonder if he’s hoping I’ll just let it slide.

I’m supposed to watch the kids again this week, but I don’t want to anymore. However, I’m afraid that if I tell him before getting paid, he won’t pay me at all. My plan is to send him an Apple Pay request for the money he owes me, plus pre-payment for the upcoming week. Then, I’ll send a polite but firm message saying that if he doesn’t pay by the end of the day, I won’t watch the kids. Then if he pays and I watch the kids I will then tell him I will no longer watch his kids.

Would I be the AH for handling it this way?