This is a throw away account and the names have been changed for privacy. My sister in law, Lilly (18), and her ex boyfriend, Billy (20), are about 6 months pregnant. They got pregnant 2 months after knowing each other and Lilly dropped out of high school. Billy is a drug dealer and meth addict. Lilly has no job, has not kept a job, has not gotten anything ready for the baby and this is the same deal with Billy except he has a license.

My husband (27) and I (27) have been trying to get pregnant for over 2 years. I have unexplained Infertility. We decided that I would go back to school to get my masters and work on paying down our other debt and adopt in about 5 years. The thought of adopting their child sounded pretty scary to me. They are both mentally unstable and I fear the issues this child may have. Lilly's mom actually brought up us adopting the baby to her but Lilly and Billy want to keep the baby. I respect this since it's their child.

About a month ago, we get an update that Billy is on parole and has been in jail. I assumed something drug related but nope. Turns out, Billy went to a party on new years without Lilly. Lilly was upset by this and took an Uber to the party. Lilly makes him leave and gets in the car with an intoxicated Billy. Billy is driving. So a pregnant Lilly knowingly and willingly gets into a car with a drunk driver. Lilly said they started fighting and he was driving erratically and scaring her. He was speeding and wouldnt stop the car until she called the police. He was arrested for a DUI, not his first. She STAYED in a relationship with this man until last week.

Lilly moved back home since Billy was in jail. I was happy to find that out since it's a better environment than Billy's meth house. My husband and I started being very worried for our future niece, especially hearing the worry and frustration from everyone else.

Last week, Lilly and Billy broke up and Lilly posted online that she is not ready to grow up. We talked with Lilly's mom and grandma and they filled us in on a lot more. Lilly was not eating when she was first pregnant because they didn't have food at the trap house and she didn't want to leave her boyfriend. She has nothing for the baby except a crib and a ripped up mattress. Lilly has not been able to keep a job longer than a few weeks. She only lasted 2 days at Chipotle. She refuses to get her license, save up money, fees herself, or pretty much do anything that is needed. Her mom thinks that Lilly thinks everyone is going to take care of her and she won't have to do anything. The point is, she is extremely immature and self involved. She didn't break up with Billy when he put her and the baby in harms way but she will when he just makes her mad.

My husband and I talked about offering the adopt. We talked to Mom and Grandma and asked if this is something she would be interested in. They both said they don't know and they worry she is not mature enough to even make that decision. They did say they hope she will because it is what is best for the baby.

I was still on the fence about offering as I truly do not want to deal with Lilly and Billy but I felt guilty for this child. This childs life is already rough and the baby isn't even born yet.

I made a post on an adoption forum about this asking for advice and how the adoption process even works for that. A few people went off on me saying I was coercing her if I offered. Even if it's a genuine offer respecting her decision. I try not to judge but I have no problem with judging when it comes to child welfare. Am I the asshole?