Sorry in advance this is my first time writing instead of reading and I have ADHD so it makes it hard to tell stories but I’ll do my best

I (27F) started dating John (fake name 32M) about a month ago. Before we started officially dating there were so many red flags that I found out just through asking questions here and there because he doesn’t like to speak on his past due to “trauma” but I believe the trauma he is referring to is what he has done to others and the repercussions he faced because of them. I will list them below in no particular order

1. He has 2 children he doesn’t see
2. Does not have a great relationship with the mothers because he was and still is a deadbeat
3. Has back child support
4. Suspended license
5. A criminal record (that he told me a little about but ultimately I pulled a background check and found MUCH more)
6. Lied about his age (said he was 30)
7. Does not have a real bank account probably because of his criminal past
8. Disappears every night after work because he is so tired after a 12 hour shift

I’m sure there’s more I could add but just writing it all down makes me realize how bad this situation honestly is. He regularly speaks on marrying me, I really like him but I’ve made it clear that I’m not interested in joining lives until he resolves all of the issues above. He also speaks on impregnating me and begging me to just not put him on child support after as if that is some type of good thing. On top of that I lended him substantial money that I want back but he is making it difficult to get back because of the lack of a good banking institution. I really like his vibe but I’m old enough to realize when something isn’t going to work out. So would I be the AH if o just ghosted him with no explanation after I get my money back?

I’m a firm believer that people know exactly what they did wrong and I’m so tired of explaining that I want to be treated better and not lied to. Please be gentle with me I know I’ve been being dumb but sometimes hindsight is 20/20. You forgive one thing you say as small and then the next issue comes and you convince yourself it wasn’t as bad as the last. Then you find your self with a laundry list of red flags 🚩