So, I (32M) lost my wife, “Sarah,” last week to a sudden illness. It’s been a hell of a time, and I’m still in shock. My kids, "Emma" (7) and "Liam" (4), are obviously struggling, and I’ve been trying to manage everything, but to be honest, I’ve been in a bit of a mental fog.

Here's where I’m probably going to get a lot of shit, but I need to get this off my chest. The day after Sarah passed away, I was obviously devastated, but I didn’t really know how to handle it. I’ve been playing Marvel Rivals for a while now, and I just sort of shut down emotionally. It’s like, I couldn’t face the weight of the grief, and the game helped me numb out a bit. So, for the first three days after Sarah died, instead of dealing with the kids and facing the reality of it all, I spent most of my time in front of the TV, playing Marvel Rivals.

I know, I know—it sounds bad. But the truth is, I couldn’t cope, and I was completely overwhelmed. I wasn’t ready to sit down and have heart-to-hearts with my kids about their mum. I wasn’t even sure I had the strength to hold them. I just needed to escape for a bit.

Now, my mother-in-law, “Linda,” has been absolutely awful about it. Instead of offering support or understanding, she’s been berating me nonstop. She’s called me everything from “emotionally unavailable” to “selfish” and “a terrible father.” She’s literally told me, “What kind of man neglects his children like that after their mother dies?” I mean, come on. Can she really not understand that I was struggling too?

Linda hasn’t tried to comfort the kids at all—she just keeps ripping into me. She’s been telling everyone that I’m not “mourning properly” and that I’m "damaging my children." She even said I should be “ashamed” of how I’m handling everything. Meanwhile, she’s just sat on her high horse, acting like she’s perfect. She hasn’t made a single effort to be there for me or the kids. She didn’t offer to help, didn’t cook a meal, didn’t even take the kids for a few hours to give me a break. She just judges me from the sidelines, and it’s making everything worse.

I know I fucked up by zoning out into the game for those first three days. I’m not proud of it. But I feel like Linda’s made it all about how I am grieving, rather than how the kids are handling it. She hasn’t once asked how I’m doing, just keeps telling me what I should be doing, like she’s got all the answers. Honestly, I can’t even deal with her right now.

I’ve tried to explain to her that I’m not just “ignoring” the kids. I will be there for them, I’m just trying to process things in my own way. But she keeps coming at me, and it’s driving me nuts. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong for taking those few days to just disconnect and grieve in my own way, but now it feels like my own mother-in-law is making this whole thing worse.

So, Reddit, AITAH for playing Marvel Rivals instead of comforting my children? And is my mother-in-law being a total bitch for not offering any support?