I (26f) have had anorexia and bulimia since forever but it wasn't apparent until I was around 12. My mom (53f) has referred to my health issues as "self-inflicted" multiple times and said that I "chose not to eat" or "chose to overeat." My mom's coworker (19f) had a kid in high school with her boyfriend. My mom was telling me about "this poor girl" and how she missed her senior prom and struggles financially and how hard her situation is. Btw I missed my senior prom due to a psychotic break and she referred to it as "not a big deal" and said that "some girls don't even get to go to school in other countries." I said that I thought she didn't care about "self-inflicted problems." I felt upset and jealous of the level of sympathy.

My mom got upset and said that the "poor girl" "got thrust with an unplanned pregnancy" and "had to grow up fast" and "didn't have a choice." I said that she had just as much of a choice as I did. I pointed out that she once said something like "Have you ever starved in your life?" and when I said yes she said "That's not real starvation, you chose it on yourself."

I said that if I didn't experience "real starvation" then she didn't experience a "real unplanned pregnancy" since she knew it was a possibility with her choices and real unplanned pregnancies are for rape victims who didn't have a choice. (Not my beliefs but according to her logic).

She got upset and said "that's different" but refused to explain how it was different. She then said that I should be more empathetic since I'm an adult and the coworker is a teenager. I said that when she made the "real starvation" comment I was 15 and she was 42. Also I didn't say this to the coworker or in front of her since she wasn't the one making those comments.

She then said that she can't explain how it's different because I won't understand since I will never know how hard it is to be pregnant and give birth and raise a kid (I had been sterilized last year over concerns that a relapse would lead to horrible birth defects, on top of having hereditary psychosis). I again said "self-inflicted problem, her choice" and she started crying and calling me "heartless."