im 22F, started talking to a guy at the end of summer last year. We hit it off and he came on pretty hard with the lovey dovey ( and sexual ) talk. After our first date, it all went down hill. He kinda sensed that i was uncomfortable in the date and basically tried to reject me first by sending me a wave of messages about how he hates how i look and everything about me and wanted to leave the date as soon as he saw me. Cool, we stop talking.

A couple months later i see someone that looked alot like him so i decided to check up on him. Just as a good person, no ulterior motive. He immediately says how much he regrets what he said and how he was lying and hes very attracted to me and wants me to give him another chance. He'll be better now. As soon as i start being friendly again, he becomes distant then completely ghosts me.

This becomes a pattern. He comes to me, begs for a chance. Is lovely for the first few days, gets me attached. Then gets distant and yup, ghosts. The nail in the coffin was a month ago he asked me out on a date. That was our second ever date. I said yes. I wanted to see him again to make a real judgement in person. I know. Im stupid.

He was wonderful ???? The date was amazing. He even kissed me at the end. And it was a real kiss. Not one of the fake ones. Had enough to tell the difference. I get home and im scared and i tell him that. Afraid he'll leave as soon as i get comfortable again. He said he won't. Promises even. 2 weeks go by. Gets distant. Ghosts. I then find out he is planning a first date with someone else. He posted about it publicly. And i basically get devastated i was lied to so bad.

I call him to ask him. He said its just a hook up and that him and i should hook up too. Made me feel even worse. A day later, he calls me and tells me he loves me. I own his heart. He's afraid of love and of getting attached. And he wont go on that date with that other girl. He was genuine and vulnerable and i thought this guy clearly needs help. Like therapy. Bad. And i promised to help him. And to put up with his shit. But i asked him never to ghost me again.

Well he did. He ghosted me again after he said he loved me and after i offered to help him in any way possible get better. Please tell me whats wrong with this guy. Why would he do this? What kind of mental illness is this? AITAH or is he