I (32M) have been in a relationship with my partner (26M) for 5 years, and have lived with each other for four of those years. We recently moved to a new area and decided to join a local group to make friends.

My partner is much more outgoing than I am, and easily makes friends. They made friends with this other couple and were a tad flirty, to which I didn’t mind because we’re all human. Over the few weeks they kept saying how attractive the couple was and we even joked about possibly fooling around at some point.

One evening while watching TV, I noticed that my partner was doing a deep dive into one of these individuals FB. I asked if that’s what they were doing, and they confirmed. I stated “that’s weird” and went back to doing my thing. My partner stopped and asked me if I was uncomfortable, to which I stated “I don’t want to make this a big thing.” That didn’t satisfy him and he made me tell him I was uncomfortable with it. He acknowledged my feelings and told me he would lay off.

A couple weeks later, we went to a social gathering and my partner spent the entire evening hardcore flirting with the other couple, in front of everyone in our group. The other group members noticed and made efforts to point it out to my partner and I.

On the way home I broke down and harshen out my anger. The next few days were rough. We barely talked. We had a conversation where I explained that they forced my to tell them how I felt, then completely ignored my feelings and concerns to push their agenda with the other couple, not only in front of everyone but knowing my previous partner did the same and cheated on me in the process.

We agreed that this other couple wasn’t worth ending our relationship over and my partner was being reckless. He somehow got mixed messages about the possibility of an open relationship. Weeks and months passed and we haven’t seen this couple of our social group because I haven’t been ready to face them.

This week one of the guys texted my partner saying how he missed seeing him. My partner told me this and stated that he just wants to be platonic. I stated that I understand but am still uncomfortable with them and it’s a trigger. I took the time to explain that I wasn’t upset at them talking to other people, but the fact that they steamrolled over my feelings, after forcing me to share them, to do what they wanted. My partner acknowledged. Later on in the week my partner mentioned that the other guy’s partners kink IG popped up. I didn’t say anything and went about what I was doing. My partner then mentions going to a social event this week.

This triggered me and I shut down. I’m not ready to see or hangout with them, at least until my feelings and concerns will be respected. AITAH?