I (F21) have an older sister (F32). We'll call her Gracie. Gracie and I are half-sisters, technically, since she is our dad's from a previous marriage. My dad and her biological mother divorced when she was just an infant, and he married my mom before she was 2 years old. I don't have very many memories of Gracie from my childhood, but the ones that I do remember are not exactly happy. She drank a lot, smoked a lot of weed, snuck out, threw parties, pretty stereotypical stuff. She was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder at some point in her teenage years, but from my understanding she refused medication and therapy. I myself have been diagnosed Bipolar, though I am type 2 (she is type 1, which is categorized as much more severe). She raised a lot of hell in our house and I remember constantly being sent to stay with grandma for a few days with my brother (M26) because she was either high, dangerously manic, or threatening to hurt us or herself. It stressed my parents out to the max. She moved several hours away for college when I was about 6.

She dropped out within the first semester and began ignoring our parents' phone calls. Her phone got disconnected at one point and my parents reported her missing. She showed up on our doorstep in the middle of the night pregnant and said that she had been groomed into a relationship with a much older man who was some sort of convict. My parents of course took her in and all was fine in the house for a couple of weeks until she took off again. The next time she came back she was only a few weeks away from giving birth, and she gave birth to a beautiful baby (we'll call her Callie) whom I fell in love with immediately. She was like my own personal baby doll and I LOVED taking care of her. Gracie and Callie lived with us for 8 months before Gracie and our dad got into some fight and she just packed up her things and left with Callie. We didn't hear from her for quite some time. I have a pretty large gap in my memory here due to unrelated things, so please forgive me.

The next time I can really remember Gracie truly being a part of our lives was when I was about 13, when she and Callie came home to visit. I remember she pinched my nipples in front of my dad and my brother and congratulated me on "finally getting boobs." A year or so later, she was visiting again when I told her an embarassing story about my skirt getting caught in my underwear in front of my crush at school and it revealing some humiliating character underwear to everyone. Her response was to immediately run and tell my dad, my brother, and her boyfriend, all of whom seemed uncomfortable hearing about a 14 year old girl's underwear. After this, I asked her if she could make it a point to NOT share stories I tell her in confidence and she called me a pussy. Up until I was 17, I would say our relationship was okay, although I never really felt like I had much of a sister. I don't know if she forgot about our large age gap, but she would often text me inappropriate things like asking me about my sex life when I was 15 (and not even sexually active yet). She also constantly pressured me to drink, party, smoke, and other things she had done in high school that I had no interest in. when I was 17 she tried for WEEKS to convince me that I should get pregnant. She so badly wants me to be "worse" than she was. I smoked weed a total of 1 time in high school and it was a horrible experience. I made the mistake of telling her that, and now anytime I achieve anything she brings it up and talks about what a "horrible kid" I was.

There are so many things I could say about her and why I want nothing to do with her. She is an animal hoarder and constantly gets puppies and doesn't vaccinate them or give them any medical care and then they die. She was posting bikini pictures of her daughter on a public instagram page FOR HER DAUGHTER when she was just 3 years old. When our grandmother died, she turned it into a huge competition of "who took it the hardest?" She discredited anyone else's reaction because according to her, she was closest to her. She always claims to have "dirt" on family members and has posted full-blown exposés on facebook when any family member slightly ticks her off. A few years ago she got mad at our dad for something minor and took to facebook calling him a racist pig and so many people saw it and shared it that it almost cost him his job. For the record, my dad is not, nor has he ever been, racist. she completely fabricated it. Around that same time, she lied to my dad and told him that we all hate him and have a group chat without him where all we do is talk about how much we wish he would die. I came home from school that day to find my dad, the least emotional man you've ever met, crying on the couch. I thought somebody had died. Then he asked me if I want him to die. She eloped to a man on their SECOND DATE and moved her kid in with him immediately and then asked my parents for $30,000 for a "real wedding." When they said no, she threw a hissy fit and told them they were no longer invited and blocked them on everything. She once bought me a sex toy and gave it to me in front of my parents (WHEN I WAS 17) and told them I had asked for it (I had NOT). She also took me on a trip to the beach where she coerced me into drinking for the first time and then kicked me out of the house we were staying at, so I wandered the streets of a town I'd never been to in a bikini while tipsy for the first time ever for 3 hours. This was when I was 16 btw. She claimed she was coming to my high school graduation, told me she had a huge present for me, told me she had a plane ticket, and then just didn't show up, with no text or call explaining why. When I told her that I had changed my major in college because I didn't think my career goal was going to work out, she said, and I quote, "I always knew you would never be able to do that shit. You're just not cut out for that kind of stuff. Leave it to the smart people." When I told her about an exciting trip I was planning and mentioned that mom and dad were helping to fund it (only because it was for school), she immediately cussed me out and went on facebook saying that mom and dad would have never funded a trip for her and that they were playing favorites. She still demonizes my parents for "allowing" her to be in a relationship and get pregnant by an older man. She also claims that it's their fault she was almost assaulted at her place of work when she was in her early 20s, because they are the ones who pushed her to get a job. Btw, I first heard about this near-assault because I told her I had just recently been sexually assaulted, and instead of letting me speak she interrupted me and told me that story.

I could literally go on for hours and hours, and believe me, I have in therapy. The absolute biggest thing for me is the telling my dad we all want him dead. It was several years ago but I have never forgiven her for that. As time has gone on I have grown more and more resentful towards her. She will have a good few months where all seems normal and then she will just fly off the deep end and try to drag everyone else down with her. I blocked her several months ago for the first time ever after a girl I BARELY know from high school reached out to me to let me know that there was a "crazy woman" commenting strange things on my TikTok. She was essentially commenting that I was such a bad kid and she's so tired of my "golden child" act and she's knows all my secrets and isn't afraid to reveal them and she hopes mom and dad can see through my mask. I have no idea what sparked any of that.

Her birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and she is coming home to visit for the first time in 4 years. As soon as my parents told me that, I immediately let them know that I'm not coming. I got into an argument with my dad because he has such a soft spot for her and both his siblings died young so he gets upset when we don't appreciate what we have. He wants so badly for me to put everything she's done behind me and at least try to pretend I'm happy to see her when she arrives, but I refused. I told him I couldn't forgive her for what she did to him several years ago and he argued that if he has forgiven her, I have no reason not to. I am just so mad at her and could not tell you the last time I felt any positive emotions regarding her, but at the same time it feels wrong to deprive my parents of having all their kids under one roof for the first time in years. It is hard to arrange even just my brother and I being home at the same time, and like I said, she hasn't been home in years. it would make my dad so happy to have all three of us home again. But I just can't get over everything she's done.

TL;DR: My sister is the devil incarnate and I have removed her from my life, but she is coming to visit for the first time in years and it would mean everything to my dad if I made up with her. I do not want to. but should I?