I wanna start off by saying that this party was for 2023, so it was a while ago. I just remembered this story and wanted to share because I am honestly still pretty upset about it. Also, english isn't my first language, so every quote I mention in this story is just translated into english language.

So I had a pretty big friend group in high school. We have talked about wanting to spend new years together, so one of the people in the group suggested that we could have a party at her place. So new years approached and that friend (I should use fake names because it will get messed up otherwise, so I will call that friend Leah) sent some final infos for the party (what we should bring and what we were gonna eat there etc.) into the group chat. One of the other people in the group (we'll call her Anna) then asked if the older brother of Leah would be there so he could get us some "hard alcohol" (her older brother was already of age so he could buy alcohol). I then sent a reply to her message saying "if there will be hard alcohol then I'd rather not come, I think I wouldn't feel comfortable". This caused an entire crashout in the groupchat, with most of the people turning against me. They all know that I don't drink. I haven't told them exactly why, the main reason I told them is that my mother educated me about alcohol and its negative effects on the body and mind pretty early, so I just never felt the need to drink, because I didn't wanna mess up my health or become addicted. But that is not the only reason I don't drink. Unfortunately, my father wouldn't stop drinking and was hiding alcohol from my mother and drinking without her knowledge after she asked him to stop because he was harming their relationship and also his own health. So the fact that he never stopped drinking has led them to huge fights (which I had to experience first hand) and it ended up being one of the reasons why they got divorced. I think I never really told my friends about the drinking problems of my dad (maybe two of my closest friends in that group, I'm not sure tho because it was a long time ago).

So because I was friends with that whole group, it really hurt me when they all turned against me in that group chat (except for one friend, we'll call her Fiona). Fiona was very understanding, maybe because of the fact that she was one of the few people in that group who didn't drink either. Leah (the friend who organized the party) asked: "So we aren't supposed to drink anything or what?", to which I replied "I never demanded that. It's about if there will be HARD alcohol, if y'all wan't to drink heavily that's okay, but then I won't come and join the party.". Anna (who I was also pretty close with outside of the group) then asked: "But on other people's birthday parties, there was also hard alcohol and you were there?", to which I replied "I know, but I just don't think it would be worth it for me to end up sitting in a corner because I don't drink." (I said that because I ended up feeling awkward at other parties, where there was alcohol involved, and I often just sat in a corner by the end). So Anna and some other people in the group just started downplaying what I was saying. Fiona told them "Just let her be if she doesn't want to. It's got nothing to do with you.", which I was really thankful for. Then the people in the group basically accused me for not allowing them to drink and that I would make them choose between them being able to drink or me coming to the party.

I just thought that was pretty unfair, because I never told them that they weren't allowed to drink, just that I wouldn't come if they were drinking heavily. I just never thought that that would be a problem and I still vividly remember that day I had this argument with them in this groupchat. My whole day was ruined and I cried a lot. I was just so angry that they would be mad at me over something like that. I was just trying to tell them that I don't feel comfortable with alcohol around and I honestly expected them to not have an issue with that. Was I in the wrong?

Edit: Anna also said that I was "demanding that they aren't allowed to even bring alcohol to the party", which I NEVER demanded. I got particularly mad about that because we were close friends, and her turning against me in the groupchat really hurt me, but also, she was the one who asked if there would be hard alcohol for them to drink in the first place, so I should've known. Anna also was confused about the fact that I was even concerned about their alcohol consumption, because in her eyes, "The fact that we are drinking alcohol at the party has nothing to do with her". Like what? Of course it does. I'm also gonna be impacted if I'm there with a bunch of drunk people. Anna was also publicly shaming me in this group chat for not addressing this issue that I had sooner. I just think that's very insensitive. Like okay I wasn't comfortable with mentioning it sooner because I was scared of this kind of reaction. And that's what I get for finally building up the courage to speak up. So apparently, my friends wanted me to be there at the party, but also didn't want to miss out on the hard alcohol. While I would never expect them to stop drinking, I think that having trouble choosing between a friend and being able to drink lots of hard alcohol sounds concerning. Like that's a starting point for addiction. Fiona really stood up for me in this group chat, fighting other people. She really put a lot of effort in, and I'm so unbelievably grateful for that. Also, Anna and I aren't friends anymore (that's a whole other story) and I'm only in contact with three other people from the whole group to this day, I just lost contact to the rest.